me&my health up

Self Leadership - How to Lead yourself to become the Best Version of You!

March 03, 2021 me&my wellness / Glin Bayley Season 1 Episode 39
me&my health up
Self Leadership - How to Lead yourself to become the Best Version of You!
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This episode of me&my health up is on Self Leadership with Glin Bayley. Glin is the author of Unstoppable Women and the founder of Heart of Human. Previously Glin spent 17 years as the Head of Finance for a number of global organizations until she decided she wanted to empower women to achieve their dreams. So in this episode Glin and I explore Self Leadership and Mastering Mind Chatter to empower you to be the best version of self!

How to connect with Glin:
Website: Heart of Human
Facebook: @heartofhumanofficial
Instagram: @heartofhuman

About me&my Health Up & Host

me&my Health Up seeks to enhance and enlighten the wellbeing of others. Host Anthony Hartcher is the CEO of me&my wellness which provides holistic health solutions using food is medicine, combined with a holistic, balanced, lifestyle approach. Anthony holds three bachelor degrees in Complementary Medicine; Nutrition and Dietetic Medicine; and Chemical Engineering.

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Any information, advice, opinions or statements within it do not constitute medical, health care or other professional advice, and are provided for general information purposes only. All care is taken in the preparation of the information in this Podcast. [Connected Wellness Pty Ltd] operating under the brand of “me&my health up”..click here for more

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Anthony Hartcher 0:00
Welcome to another insightful episode of Me&My Health Up. The purpose of this podcast is to enhance and enlighten the well being of others. I'm your host, Anthony Hartcher. I'm a clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine specialist.

This episode is on self leadership with Glin Bayley. Glin is the author of unstoppable women and the founder of the Heart of Human. Previously, Glenn spent 17 years as the head of finance for a number of global organizations, until she decided she wanted to empower women to achieve their dreams. So in this episode, Glen and I are going to explore self leadership and mastering mind chatter to empower you to be the best version of yourself. Over to you, Glin, how are you today?

Glin Bayley 0:51
I'm really well, thank you. Thanks very much for having me on your show.

Anthony Hartcher 0:56
Let's begin with your journey because it's an exciting journey. I always love hearing about how people have arrived at what they're doing today, because there's so much self discovery, going towards their passion, and then really shining in terms of because they're doing what they're passionate about and hence, you know, like you've written a book, and you've got this amazing program that you're running for corporate. So yeah, please share with the listeners your story, I'd love to hear it.

Glin Bayley 1:24
Oh, gosh, where do I even start? Well, I guess if I take us back first and foremost, to 2014, I started expecting a family of my own and I was happily married at that point in time, and I ended 2014 separated from my husband, and with no baby, because I've had an early miscarriage, and when you have a year like that, where what you thought the year was going to turn out like and then what the year ends looking completely different.

It certainly gave me the opportunity to start questioning what my life was about and where it was headed. It made me see I guess at that point in time at the end of 2014, this, this gaping hole in understanding myself, and where I wanted to be and what my identity was and I found myself six months after that point, moving from England to Australia to start a new life in, in Sydney to find my feet to find out who I was to really connect to what mattered to me.

I had chosen Australia because it was somewhere that I had visited back in 2003. And I could see myself as a place to live and work, and I think when my marriage ended, I certainly found that opportunity to feel like I wanted to move towards something rather than go backward and because it was a dream that I hadn't yet realized it became the perfect opportunity to go forward and make that are reality.

When I got to Australia in June 2015, I was very lucky to be able to have transitioned with the corporate business that I was working with at the time, and I came into a new role where I was supported by the business that I was working in and was able to find my feet in a new country where I didn't really know people or have any sort of real connections.

I knew two couples who I'd met on holiday a year earlier for a week in Iceland, but hardly could say there were close relationships at that point in time, and as I got into my work, I think the seed had already been planted around my identity, my sense of who am I what am I being because when you have a moment of I guess personal trauma and divorce and separation being quite a common one, the recognition that your identity is wrapped up in being a partner being a wife or you know my case wanting to be a potential, you know, mother at that point in time, and then when that's no longer there that question around who is your identity? What are you about really starts to play on your mind.

And it got me really connected to who was I being at work as well. So I have taken my identity from out of my relationship into my attachment to my relationship at work, which was fine when things are going really well, but when then part way through my journey, I had a change of leadership. I had what was a really good leader turn into a leader that I could only describe now as a narcissist, but at the time, that kind of language wasn't really in my vocabulary. It wasn't something I was aware of.

But I didn't know that I went from feeling like I was at the top of my career and my element when I'd left the UK feeling like it was flying high when I'd first moved over to Australia and then with a change of leadership feeling like I'd gone from hero to zero in less than 60 seconds, and in that moment that realization, whereas previously, and I'd experienced corporate bullying very early on in my early 20s.

And so I'd, I'd known what it felt like when I'd had a female leader at that time, being quite aggressive in her disapproval of me and quite expressive of that to others and then to find myself later on in my career, to be facing a different kind of bullying more and more covert way of undermining, I found myself really questioning where I was placing my power.

I think when you've had trauma around sort of divorce and separation, you anchor your identity in what feels certain because the environment around you changes, and you're holding on for what feels certain. And I put all my energy into my corporate career and when that started to feel like it was on shaky ground because of leadership changes, I came to the realization that I didn't want to be at the mercy of really poor leadership, I didn't want to be at the mercy of individuals that could wield their power without realizing that the knock on effect on well being health that they can have on people.

And I was certainly sick off by that point in time, consistently been told, by various different HR teams. And not to say all of them are the same, but certainly, you know, a good number of HR functions constantly saying, Well, you need to round off your skills, you need to be this person, this is the box, you've got to tick and this is how you fit the model of who we think you should be.

Rather than being in an environment that said, let me really understand your strengths. Let me understand what you're good at, let me understand where your skills and talents and gifts will best fit our environment, and let's accelerate those, rather than trying to make you a critical cookie cutter effect of person that looks exactly the same as every other person in the team and the business.

And I think with that realization, I think thankfully, with my own personal circumstances changing, I had the realization to say, I don't need to choose a life where my success or otherwise is determined by a change of one individual, especially when I'd been in the organization by that point, 10 and a half years with a credible track record and performance history.

I thought, wow, like, I Yeah, no, I don't want that I don't choose that and I found myself then looking at options to create a new future for myself and I think in that journey, as well, I realized that part of my whole identity had been wrapped up against choosing a career that allowed me to, again, have a lifestyle that I enjoyed a very, you know, healthy salary, a career that was respected and regarded, but I hadn't ever really asked myself, did it make me happy? Did it make me happy to be doing finance? Was it where my passion was? Where was it where my joy was? And I thought, well, goodness, if I'm already questioning whether I want to be in corporate and to be dictated who I should be based on an environment that is fixated on a way of being, then actually, maybe I just want to question what I'm doing in its entirety.

When I realized that, actually, I didn't want to be in finance, I chose finance because I had tight tied my identity with this ego state of Oh, I got to be a C suite leader and then I can say, I've made it, then I can say I'm successful, and to be truthful, it did take to the point, I was offered a CFO role before I finally my ego surrendered and said that you don't want this that I finally gave up the ghost and thought, right, what am I going to do?

It made me realize based on my own experience, how many women I guess especially in the corporate environment when there's less of them in senior roles, or up against an environment that doesn't have a common role model that they can follow. A lot of women are stepping into being more masculine in their energy to succeed. There's still an environment and a culture that says you have to be done and operate a certain way rather than really get to know an individual at their heart.

And I just thought, right, well, I'm gonna see what I can do to help support and address this and decided I would go into executive coaching and female leadership, coaching, and development through programs, programs have evolved over time initially, it was just one to one coaching and I thought, right? Well, if I can just help one woman see herself clearly and see who she is and anchor her identity to her own sense of self, then the way she shows up, whether it be in a corporate role, whether it be in her own business, whether it be as a mother, a wife, or sister, she could choose who she was being at any one moment in time.

If she knew who she was, then hopefully she would choose the person she knew herself to be in wanted to be, rather than what the environment dictated, she should be in who they thought she should be, too, to fit their needs. So yeah, it's been quite a journey to all I guess, down to me choosing my identity and choosing what I loved and what was important and meaningful to me, and hopefully, in some small way, I can help others do the same, I've got no idea where this journey will lead me.

But I know, I feel like I'm finally able to shed the mask, you know, the corporate masks that many people wear, where they don't share who they really are, and I don't have that mask anymore, I don't have any fear of what people think of me, because I know what I think of me, and that's enough, and that's, you know, my worth isn't derived by my attachment to my, my salary, or my job title, or the company I work for, it's derived from within me, and I think me having that realization and doing the work on myself has made me see that I've got value to bring and give to others who might be feeling the same frustrations, the same level of dissatisfaction with what they're doing.

And then hopefully, more and more people find their voices, the better chance we've got of changing, you know, a corporate culture that, you know, stands at this point in time in a highly masculine environment, and actually can we can have some balance of shared ideas shared understanding, shared, shared interests between both men and women and learn to collaborate in a way that is representative of 100% of the population's voice rather than just 50%.

Anthony Hartcher 12:12
Totally agree, Glin. Absolutely. I, my, my journey, run, very parallel to yours, you know, lots of similarities, and, you know, went through that self discovery process and refining, you know, or discovering my passions and, and certainly, hence, where I am today, just what I really connected with, or connected with everything, everything you said resonated with me, but in particular what stood out was helping women find their voice.

And I'm thinking there's certainly listeners listening into this that may be at that stagnation point or a bit stuck or a bit frustrated with their career, you know, and it typically happens around that mid-career point, and you start questioning yourself. And, and you do you I mean, you have a mixed range of leaders, as you said, So, how do you know that these listeners find their voice? You know, what, what sort of process do you need to go through to discover this voice and, and become this leader of self?

Glin Bayley 13:17
Yeah, that's a great question. I think where I would answer that is, first and foremost, raising your level of awareness, I think you can't change something that you're not aware of.

So if I was to give the example of the four stages of competence, you go from unconscious incompetence, right, the way through to conscious competence, and in between are the stage of unconsciously become unconsciously becoming aware of your incompetence, and then consciously getting unconsciously becoming competent in that journey? I'm sure I've just mixed up the odour, but that's okay, but what I'm trying to get to in, in that point is this recognition that at the moment, most people be unconscious to what they're feeling, because they've got this level of discomfort that they might be experiencing, but it feels like themselves because they're so used to it.

So it's a sense of almost I've become accepting of this discomfort because it's familiar. So it feels like me, and it feels like my world, and in order for someone to change that, first and foremost, they need to understand that they're first. Firstly, feeling that discomfort, acknowledging where it's coming from, and then being able to have a vision of the future, that they're inspired by that they want to move towards to then determine where the gap is between where they are today and where they want to be.

I think when it comes to listening and having their voice heard. You have to start first and foremost with listening to your own internal voice and understanding what is that says? So is that internal voice first and foremost, highlighting where the dissatisfaction is? Is it one that says, Oh, I'm not happy? Or is it one that says, I'm not good enough? Because there's a number of different things, there's a voice inside of you that can be supportive of you and say, hey, you know, you're not in the right place, or you know, you're not feeling connected to this, you know, something needs to change.

And then you've got, that's the inner coach voice if you like, and then you've got the inner critics voice, which is or you're not good enough, who do you think you are? Why do you think you should have a better life than the one that you've got? Everyone else has got gifts that you don't have everyone's got talents that you don't have, you're not quite going to make it to, you know, have the dream life that you want.

You've got to first and foremost discern which voice is in inside of you, and which voice gets the most air time because once you can start to discern where you've got the most airtime, you can then start to say, Well, okay, if the inner critic has got the most air time, how am I possibly going to create a vision of the future that's going to inspire me and compel me to move towards it, when the inner critic is so loud, that it's already telling me I can't do something.

So you can't create a new vision. When you're in a place where you don't even believe in yourself or the voice you've got is so critical, you can't create a new compelling vision that you want to move towards because it already feels so hard, it feels impossible to even get to that new future from your current state.

You have to silence or at least learn to quiet in that inner critic's voice first, to be able to elevate and hear your inner coach's voice and when your inner coach's voice becomes louder, then you're more capable of setting the future vision of the life that you want, that's actually going to support what you really want rather than they should, you know, it's that sense of, okay, I know what I really want because I'm actually putting myself into a stable state of not being in fear not being in survival, I'm actually considering what's possible when I coach myself to see and hear positivity. And then when you create that future, compelling vision, what you then know is the gap that exists between where you are today and we you want to go.

And that's when the work begins, you're already doing a lot of work just to get to that initial ID identification but then the work begins to say, well, if I know what the distance is, I know what the gap is, I can start to then plan the pathways that are going to allow me to manoeuvre from my point, A location to my point B location and identify all of the different options, I've got to navigate that in between.

Anthony Hartcher 17:44
Yeah, that inner critic, it's could be so loud and like, you mentioned silencing the inner critic. Have you got any top tips as to how we could go about getting down that inner critic voice and raising the inner coach voice?

Glin Bayley 18:02
Yeah, one easy way I would say is, I say easy. It's simple, but it's definitely not easy, is to become really present and aware of your emotions. So your feelings will be the first indicator of what your thoughts are telling you. So your thoughts could be very critical and very negative, but if you're having those thoughts, the corresponding feelings are going to be ones that leave you feeling less than they leave you feeling disempowered.

You can feel despair, you can feel overwhelmed, you can feel a sense of concern about where your life's heading, because all of those thoughts, hurray, create those feelings that are less than when you become present to your feelings and you can start to see that if I was to observe my feelings for one day, if I was to start off with, what am I feeling when I wake up? And start to notice what that is? What am I feeling at lunchtime? What am I feeling in the evening when I get home? Or you know, as I switch off my workday, what am I feeling just before I go to bed and start to pay attention to what your feelings are because your feelings are going to be really good indicators of your thoughts.

Then the tip to move past that is to say, Okay, now that I can see my feelings, and I can recognize them. All I'm going to do in this moment right now is to choose a better feeling thought, and that is it. You're looking for if I in this moment, I feel disempowered because one of my team members has gone against one of my work objectives and has undermined my ability to deliver or whatever it might be.

And in that moment of feeling disempowered, what can you choose? You're saying okay, well disempowered as a feeling isn't a great space to be. So if I choose a feeling of anger now this is gonna sound interesting.

If I choose anger, on the surface, you might go, Well, that's still a bad emotion. Why would you want to feel anger, anger over feeling despair is actually got more power in that emotion than despair has.

You can't take yourself straight from despair and go, Oh, I feel content and joy, because your brains gonna say, Well, I'm sorry. That's nonsense. That's not true. That's not how you feel, but if you allow yourself to take yourself from despair into anger, how very dare they? What, you know, what were they thinking? Who do they think they are? You can be in that emotion and not stay there but certainly visit that emotion, build your power back up and go, right? Okay, I'm not feeling disempowered anymore. I've got some power back in that feeling.

Now that I've got some power back, what feeling can I choose beyond anger that then says, Okay, you knew what, just gonna let it go, I'm just going to surrender that. So I'm going to choose the feeling of letting go surrender, and actually allow myself to feel the acceptance of that, and just move past it.

Because when I've gone from anger into acceptance, I've taken the power out, I've taken the charge out in a negative way, but I also feel more strong and more powerful in myself, and then I can go from acceptance into contentment, because I'm no longer affected by that issue and when you start to move yourself up, sort of an emotional scale from negative feelings to more positive feelings, by default, in order to access that feeling, you have to choose to focus your attention and your energy onto something different, and when you choose to focus your intention, and your energy on something different by nature of it, you're taking the charge out of the situation that's got you all riled up in the first place.

Anthony Hartcher 22:03
And just because certainly we address the inner critic, and you know how to silence the inner critic is the inner coach, the part of where you say, I'm going to let go, is that raising the voice of the inner coach?

Glin Bayley 22:18
Yeah, and it will happen subtly, because even your inner coach will say, It's okay for you to be angry because it's a more powerful emotion than be in despair. So your inner coach is the one that's going to encourage you to move up the guidance scale, it's not going to say, right, okay, stay in anger, your inner coach is going to be the person says, anger is appropriate for this moment, feel it, but let it go, and now let's move on to a better feeling though, because if you get caught in emotional energy and emotion that's as not representative of something that's constructive and that's going to work for you in the longer term, that's going to be inner critic taking you further.

So if your inner critic got louder at the point of anger, where you've just got your power back, it would keep you there and then you'd be looking for revenge and again, revenge might feel great in that moment, just from anger, but if you stay in revenge, the knock-on consequences of revenge become far more disempowering in the long run than actually just say, right? Maybe I can imagine what I do to this person for five minutes. And then I'm gonna let it go and move to acceptance and I processed it, and I acknowledged it, because you're not tricking your brain, you're not going from Rage into joy, you're actually honouring that each emotion has a message that you've got to receive and understand and then act accordance and move up through.

It is that sort of your coach becomes stronger, because your coach isn't playing a game with you that's playing pretence around your emotions, it's genuinely acknowledging the journey you have to go through to feel better.

Anthony Hartcher 23:56
And is this journaling? Exercise? I'm just thinking of, you know, being in that situation? Is that something that you sort of, you know, take five, take some deep breaths, you know, rather than, you know, quickly send an email or, you know, quickly, you know, yell back or whatever this person? Is it something that you Yeah, take some time out. Journal, recap, reflect, and you know, is that

Glin Bayley 24:24
The reason why someone would do that is they've got to have a vision of themselves, that is more important to them than the response to the particular circumstance. So journaling, absolutely, taking time to breathe and reflect Absolutely but those are only real methods that are meaningful to you if you've already anchored into the reason why you would do them because often people just get your journal to feel grateful. It meditates.

But, you know, all in service of right you'll feel better as a human but you have to really want to have a very different future, and you want to really care about your identity and who you are and what you stand for and what you don't stand for, in order to even start the work in the first place; because motivation will only get you so far to persist with journaling and gratitude exercises and breathing techniques, but it's your intrinsic driver, your intrinsic motivation, rather than the extrinsic that's going to keep you committed to the journey and I think until you get clear as to, why would you even bother? Is happiness sounds silly? But is happiness, a big enough driver for you? And for most people? Yeah, of course, it is. But the reality is, it isn't because it's, it's not connected to what their life would look like.

So you have to go deeper than just saying, I want to be happy, you want to say, want to be happy and this is what happiness looks like, happiness looks like not being affected by the conditions around me. It means not letting other people's agendas bring me down, it's having a real sense of who I am. So that no matter what goes on outside of me, I can look like I'm the swan gliding on the lake, rather than the crazy duck underneath gathering like goodness, which way am I flapping around because I'm, I'm struggling to cope here with all of these external things that are triggering my emotions.

When you can start to see that actually, the life that you get to live, when you choose to powerfully step into a vision of the future that is more empowering yourself, then the actions that you take like journaling, meditation, breathing, timeout, pausing, even just a simple pause between, okay, I've had an emotional trigger, I'm feeling the reaction but in this moment, I'm just going to pause for 30 seconds, read, and then decide how I'm going to respond to this situation, but not because it's the right thing to do is because it matters, in connection with the identity you're choosing for yourself.

Anthony Hartcher 27:10
So just getting back to that identity and creating that vision of who you want to be. I'm thinking, you know when you're in this moment of despair, and you've been down this path, so I'm really keen to hear it from, you know, your journey and, you know, like, so when you're in that moment of despair, and, you know, everything seems to be the world's against you, and nothing's going for you.

And I'm thinking, how do you actually, you know, see the vision, you rise above, you're like, it's like, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, you know, when everything's so dark and gloomy. It was it like, did you go through a process of education, creating awareness, in that self discovery journey? Or was there a coach or mentor that came in, and really, it was a combination of both that really helped, you're just trying to think for that person that may be going through a similar situation that you experienced, and how you can actually set that establish that vision that's going to take you out and beyond where you are?

Glin Bayley 28:11
Sure, I think if I reflect back on my own journey, separating from my husband and ending 2014, the year that that was quite a big emotional shift, for me. What I personally did first and foremost was make a decision was that I didn't want to be a victim to my circumstances, I chose that I was going to do whatever it took to feel good because I knew that facing that heartbreak facing the separation facing the loss of dreams that the sense of identity that you're attached to, was going to be super painful.

So I don't know where that came from if I'm to be truthful in the original source, but I just know, I came from the sense of, I don't want to suffer this sadness. So I'm going to choose the methods that are going to support that and one of the first things I did was to keep a gratitude journal. So that 2015 year, and probably midway through 2014, as it was all progressing, I kept starting a journal, which only had things I was grateful for.

Whereas prior to that point,  you know, a teenage girl, I've kept journals and you look back and you think, crikey, all I ever wrote about was the drama in my life and all the things that I was unhappy about, rather than here's all the good stuff, and there'll be periods and months and months, that will be gaps, and I look back and go, well, that must have been when I was having a really good time because I didn't write about it.

Write about my woes and my drama. So actually as an adult, keeping a journal and only wrote the good stuff and I would write daily, but I would choose what I only could write about positive things. It was the journal, the only journal that I started that had no reference to any of the sadness that I was feeling, and in that disciplined practice of only Choosing Gratitude because science will tell you that gratitude and misery cannot coexist at the same time, you cannot feel gratitude and feel sadness at the same time.

So, that journal was my healing pathway to say, Okay, you're choosing gratitude. I kept up gratitude journaling for 4 years straight daily. For four years after that point, I felt I didn't, that wasn't the modality that was going to work for me anymore, because it started to feel like I was only doing it because I was telling myself I should, and I made the decision that I wouldn't should all over myself, I would do things from a true connection and heart point. So I did gratitude journaling.

The other thing I did was to seek mentors, not mentors that I had some that I'd worked with, but also people that I didn't know and that was through podcasts that was through books. So I looked at other people across the world who I admired, who inspired me with their journeys, who I knew because they're in the public eye had different stories to share.

So I would listen to their podcasts, Oprah's Super Soul sessions became a go to favourite, I'd listened to another one, a guy called Bruce Van Horn, which nobody will most not most people won't have heard of but he's got a fair decent podcast that he started when he was in his 50s, after recovering from stage four cancer, and he was just a regular guy, started something that helped him heal, and he became a mentor, and I thought, wow, this is great. I've got different people all over the world that are becoming mentors, just because of their willingness to share their own journey, and share the goods, the highs and the lows, The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, of life.

And having mentors that were authentic and true, became my realization around, that's who I wanted to be, I didn't want to be someone who only told the good stories, I didn't want to be someone who only told the bad stories, I wanted to someone that recognize that life has a mixture of highs and lows, and it's our attitude and our thoughts and our feelings and our actions that ultimately determine what experience we have, because we're going to all experience adversity, but it's how you respond to it, that really defines who you choose to be and how you show up in life.

Anthony Hartcher 32:44
Absolutely, and, you know, that adversities come into everyone's life more than once. And in particular, you note on your, on your website, how that adversity also shone, its head or you know, came back in a big way, once you left corporate, you started your own business, however, you then, you know, you obviously had some experience of dealing with it, and a whole lot more empowered through education and, and the great work you, you know, you you do around your course.

And that led to further development enhancement of your, your program. So you want to share a bit about that second bout where you know, and that really shows your authenticity, because you are you share everything in terms of how vulnerable you are and what you've experienced, but what I take away from that is, you know, you're becoming, you know, more empowered, you know, and, and really empowering others from these setbacks. So please share that second experience and what

Glin Bayley 33:55
I definitely got me I think, the first one I thought great that was expected it was almost like people expect, you know, separation, divorce, miscarriage, they well documented your traumas that people recognize when you leave your corporate career to do something you're passionate about to start a business that you're super excited to do and you feel like you've liberated yourself from the cage of confinement that you felt you perhaps once were in, you don't expect to experience depression and anxiety to the extent that I certainly did after I left corporate, because for the first time, I was choosing to be free and to fly on my own steam under my own steam and I just thought, well, I did not expect this, but it made me realize that whilst I've separated myself from my identity from my marriage and my relationship, I had still anchored my relationship to my identity with my corporate career.

So when I left corporate I went from being Somebody, somebody in a corporate sense working for big brands, you know, having status and a senior role and a great salary to being a nobody. I wasn't known. I barely knew anyone in Australia, I had a tiny network.

And suddenly, I was trying to win business for coaching clients, when nobody knew the hell who I was. And that was a massive ego den, it was, Oh, I was somebody and now I'm nobody, I was doing something of value. Now I'm not doing anything of value. I thought I was good. Now I realize I'm completely useless and I wasn't but that's the story. I told myself. I thought I was smart, and then I told myself how stupid I was to leave without having any runway to have built my business prior to leaving corporate I left, then I started to build my business and I just think, wow, how naïve.

So that was all of the narratives that was going on, rather than saying, Wow, how brave I went, how naïve how dumb, how silly and all of that narrative just took me down to a spiral where I really, really struggled, but it made me see how relevant it was, because people get that in corporate, they could be working for 20 years, and then find themselves being made redundant, and go exactly the same thing, feeling completely out of sorts, because they've anchored their entire lives to their careers and their attachment to who they are based on what they do and their job title and the money they earn.

It's helped me become a more rounded person, I was able to re-apply the same skills that I've learned the first time around the second time around and what it did differently this time was it stopped me from being complacent to think that this is a one-stop, do it. Forget about it. Get on with your life.

It's a consistent daily practice to keep showing up and remembering who you are, to remember what matters to keep surrendering attachment to your ego about the things that you think society tells you is important, but isn't really important, and doing the daily work that supports you to stay true to who you are and I think that's what I've then been able to put into my programs working with female leaders. So I do a eight week program for women.

That's now online, thanks to COVID. So it's all delivered virtually and I run that four times a year and that is focused on taking someone who feels, to some degree disconnected to themselves from the outset, or at least knowing that there's something not quite right where they're knowing either they don't have the clarity on who they are or who they want to be, or they're feeling less than confident. They're highly competent women like highly competent women but have a narrative that says I'm not as competent as you think I am. So I work with them to help them see not only that they are competent, but they're more than competent, and how they can basically show up be who they are at their best but by being in their feminine being true to their identity so that they can give themselves a voice.

But also they can give others a voice in the organization and ultimately work towards a future generation, corporate or non-corporate, where we actually get to be ourselves do work that matters and don't give too much fluff, I won't swear too much of fluff about what people think about you, because it doesn't matter. Like what matters more than anything, is what you think about you and when you realize that, if you're your best advocate, if you're your best guide, you're your best friend, then the world around you changes because your need for energy and connection comes from a place when you're already full and therefore what you get back is significantly more because you're not coming from a place of lack

Anthony Hartcher 38:57
Love that authentic leadership and, you know, showing your vulnerability and wearing your heart on your sleeve. That thing of consistency was you know, what I really connected with? Was it just like, you know, building muscle in a gym or anything like that it requires consistency, the moment you start, you know, you start to lose strength and muscle and it's the same with you know, the work we do and the work you do is that you know it's that consistently walking the talk, so to speak, looking after ourselves and really, you know, doing that self care, as you mentioned and knowing that, you know you're on the path to that vision.

So yeah, I really connect with greatly with the work you do and the program you set up really resonates with me and, you know, I've had, I guess insight into your program, but I'd love you to share with the listeners a little bit about the heart cuz I love the acronym, and then also how they can best connect with you. Because I mean, there's you've certainly resonated with me and you've really resonated with my listeners, and I'm sure they'd love to connect with you,

Glin Bayley 40:15
You raise the heart self leadership method, if I just spent two minutes to take you through that. That was my journey back to myself. So it was certainly this sense of when you lose perspective in life, and you want to come home to yourself.

People always say Follow your heart, but nobody really tells you. What does that actually mean? And how do you do it? So I guess what I did was to codify or simplify. So that's my finance background coming in with this, how do I give people a formula that helps them do that in a way that's authentic and aligned to them.

So this is about getting to your own hearts or not, it was my journey that got me back to mine. The elements are individual and unique to the person that's going through it.

Hope a heart is an acronym for Hope, Energy, Action, Resilience, and Trust. Hope is about setting your destination choosing where you want to be and that vision, that compelling vision for yourself and your life. Energy is the fuel that's going to get you there.

If you imagine if I use a car analogy is the easiest way to describe the framework. Hope is you setting your GPS destination Energy is you filling up your tank ready to go. Action is you releasing the handbrake pressing the ignition, and then pressing on the accelerator ready to move forward towards that destination because having the GPS set isn't enough to get you to the destination, you have to actually move towards it, then the Resilience is recognizing that there might be a roadblock, there might be an obstacle, there might be other things that get in the way, but it's how quickly you are able to recalculate your path to get to where you want to and how you can recover from any setbacks with ease.

And then lastly, it's Trust, because we often start our journey when it's daylight, the sun's out, we're bright eyed, bushy tailed, ready to go, but often, our journey can take us long into the night and at that time, we're going to need our headlights, and our headlights only light up 150 yards at best in front of us. So we have to trust that providing we can see the 150 yards or so that are in front of us, and we keep taking action moving towards it. The next part of that journey is going to reveal itself.

So it's not expecting to do all of the journeys in the light. It's not expecting to have every single turn clearly visible to you when you start on the path, but it is about trusting yourself and trusting if you move forward and cultivate your own competence, that you'll get to the destination that you set at the outset or your hope.

That's the heart framework in a really, really, really quick update or go way deeper on each of the components, obviously in the programming and how you actually get to each of those steps and do them well and how people can get in touch with me on Instagram on LinkedIn.

So Instagram, my handle is Heart of Human official on my website, it's www.heartofhuman.com. On LinkedIn, it's the same Heart of Human or just look for Glin Bayley you'll find me there so a number of different ways I'm Facebook goodness, I have spread myself about a number of different social media platforms the only ones I'm not up today with or any other cool ones like tick-tock continues because I've not got any clue about them but I'm on what am I call traditional media for my for my own understanding which I can manage which is about Instagram on LinkedIn probably other to do if you want to me

Anthony Hartcher 44:01
I'll certainly share those links in the show notes so our viewers can and listeners go straight to the show notes to get directly linked to your Facebook or Instagram or website. But I just really want to sincerely thank you for your time. Glin, It's been an absolute pleasure hearing your story, your journey, and how not only you've healed yourself but how you're empowering women to heal themselves and I really, you know, connect with your message and I love this analogy of the car and it's fantastic and how it links in with your heart program.

So thank you so much and listeners. If you like the episode or if you know of anyone that could benefit from hearing Glin story, please share the episode with them and stay tuned for a more insightful episode of me&my health up

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

(Cont.) Self Leadership - How to Lead yourself to become the Best Version of You!