Anthony Hartcher 0:00
Do you feel stuck in your career or life? Is fear holding you back from chasing your dreams? Do you suffer from FOMO? If you said yes, this podcast episode on the secret to mastering fear so it's never a liability again is for you. I'm your host Anthony Hartcher, clinical nutritionist, and lifestyle medicine specialist. The purpose of this podcast is to enhance and enlighten your well being and today we're chatting with Stephanie Puente on fear. Stephanie is a transformational coach, professional speaker, and the President of core factor transformative coaching.
In this episode, we'll be uncovering the formula for how we can create results, learn how to recognize the disguise and seduction of fear and how it keeps us stuck. Furthermore, learn practices to reframe fear, and use it as a stepping stone towards growth and gain some tips on how to starve your fear and how to grow your courage. Before we tackle fear, here's a little bit more about Stephanie. Since 2014, Stephanie has helped business owners and professionals to hone in on their authentic life path and to empower and to create the life that they want to live.
Having earned multiple certifications from the brave thinking Institute BTI. She has also amassed 25 years of study in personal development, backed by a professional career that includes two decades in marketing and communications, business administration, and event planning. Stephanie is a graduate of the University of Texas and continues to invest in advanced training and education through BTI. She has been happily married for 20 years to her lovely husband Sebastian and has two beautiful daughters, Sophia, and Paloma. So welcome, Stephanie. How are you today?
Stephanie Puente 2:08
Thank you so much, Anthony. I am doing well and I'm so happy and honored and grateful for this opportunity to be here with you on this podcast. Welcome to all the listeners, I am so grateful to have this opportunity to connect with you today. Thank you for having me.
Anthony Hartcher 2:25
You're welcome and we're very grateful and returned to have you and you and your expertise on this subject of fear but before we get on with the questioning, I'd love to know your experience with fear and you know, do you have any phobias? And has fear held you back in your life?
Stephanie Puente 2:44
Absolutely, it has and I love what you just said, do you know what is my expertise with fear? You know, I was thinking about the difference between being an expert and having expertise and I have a lot of expertise and navigating fear. For most of my life I have, I've had dreams, you know, for the last 25/30 years of things that I wanted to do.
You know, things like studying abroad, moving to New York City, moving across the country to be with my boyfriend at the time taking courageous steps, wanting to run marathons, never having done anything like that before, starting businesses, getting married, becoming a mom, so many things that have fear has been a companion on the journey, as we will talk about today because really understanding that as long as we're growing as long as we are stepping towards what it is that we want, fear is going to be there and so really learning how to continue to live life as we lean into what's important to us coming from an empowered place and how to really overcome and override those parts of ourselves that, you know, tell us those beliefs.
You know, I'm not enough, I'm not capable enough, I'm not smart enough. What if it doesn't work out? What if something bad happens? What if my parents don't support me, you know, all the many ways that our fear can talk to us that can dial us down and keep us right where we are. So all along that journey, as well as, you know, just taking steps in the career and the path that I've been on to express myself in the ways that I have. Fear has been right there with me and so I really learned how to just put my arm around that part of myself and take that part with me having it without it having me so that I can keep moving forward and definitely what we'll be talking about today will be in service of sharing that with you and how you can do that as well moving forward from here.
Anthony Hartcher 4:44
Can't wait to hear that because you certainly embrace fear through your story. Which is fantastic because often some people can have a life where they're just essentially fear controls them and they don't do anything You know, can lead to many health implications so before we get on to what people can do to manage their fear, what is fear in itself?
Stephanie Puente 5:11
Well, that's a great, great question and I would love to also take a sidestep and talk first for a moment about how fear plays a part in the results that we create in our lives and take a moment to really understand how do we create results in our lives, and really recognizing that the first cause of the results that we have in our lives starts with us. It starts with the thoughts that we are thinking, and the thoughts that we think have an energy to them.
So if I'm thinking about, you know, what if it goes wrong? What if I can't do it? What if I'm not enough? That that generates inside me a feeling of constriction, anxiety, doubt, my heart might start beating really fast, and I feel constricted. So recognizing that our thoughts generate feelings inside of us, and our feelings affect our physiology and we feel very different when we're thinking thoughts of I can, you know, I am enough, there is enough for empowering statements.
What if it did work out? What if it could be easy? What if there is a way? And maybe there is a way even though I don't know? What if, what if I just stay open to that and when I think about that, I feel more open, I feel more expansive. So our thoughts affect our feelings, our feelings and get transmitted into the action that we take and we take very different actions when we're overwhelmed, afraid, fearful, doubtful, or constricted, oftentimes, we take no action, as you were saying, a moment ago, we stay stuck and it is our actions that create our results.
So and for many of us, we have been trained to really look outside of ourselves to think that what's happening in the facts and the conditions is the cause of why we feel the way we feel, why we believe you know about ourselves, and what we think is possible for us based on all that that's happening outside of us and we try to change facts and conditions. But the facts and the conditions are a reflection of the thoughts that we've been thinking and when we're and whatever we're focused on.
That's what we're going to see more of, because whatever we're giving our attention to, we're, that's where our thoughts generate from and that's what we're flowing our energy to. So as you begin to take steps forward in growth moving forward from here, knowing that the facts and the conditions are what they are, it's an opportunity to put your, to begin to notice what you're noticing, and put your attention on. A what it is that you do want, and B thoughts that are supportive and empowering and as you focus on that, that you'll feel more expanded ideas for actions will begin to come to you and as you take those actions you can trust results will follow.
And an answer to your question what is fear as, as we're moving forward in growth, I invite us to consider and realize that it's part of our human nature, that there's a part of us that that we are more than just, you know, our bodies, our personalities, that we that there is this life, you know, that is with us, that is breathing us it is breathing our heart, you know, that has us here today and whether we want to consider it call it life, call it energy, call it source, that, that this life is with us and that this life is happening everywhere, and that it is seeking for a greater freer, fuller expression and it's happening in each one of us and when we lean into what we would really love to do or experience, you know, run a marathon, have a loving relationship, start a business.
You know, become a chef, you know, travel to a particular location and we feel expansive in the thought of that, that that is life expanding through us and so when we have these ideas for something, there's that part of us that absolutely wants to move forward and grow, but then we've got part of our human nature is to, you know, stay right where we are and that there's a part of us that comes up that that really, there's a part of us as we recognize that growth and then everything that is unlike, you know, me taking that trip or me writing that book comes up the beliefs about well, you can't write the book you've you know, you didn't do well in ever in school in English, or you're not a good writer, or how could you run a marathon you know, you've always been a couch potato.
So everything that's unlike that desire that we have, it rises up, not to keep us stuck, but it's really an opportunity to carry us forward in growth but we've got some old ideas, we've got programming, that that that is really designed to keep us safe and it argues for the status quo, if you will, it, it really is a part of us that wants things to stay the same and so recognizing, you know that this is simply an indication that I'm stepping forward and grow, and there's a part of me, that comes up not to keep me stuck. But that this is an opportunity to transform that, and move forward in the presence of it to discover that capacity that each one of us has to become, do and have, and be more of what we would truly love to be.
So fear is a companion on the journey and it's and, and another way of also thinking about this is, is recognizing that every single one of us has an operating system that we live from, we've got our operating system is made up of beliefs and another name for this is our paradigms and we've got many beliefs that are expansive and freeing and support us. But then we've got some outdated old ideas, we've got some programming from how our parents may have raised us or experiences that we had an early childhood where we decided and made decisions about ourselves, about what we believe is possible, what we believe we can do or have experience and it's all part of our programming, just like there's, you know, wiring in the computer, if you will.
And when we take steps beyond that programming, it rises up. And on our own, it's hard for us to see that, that those are limiting beliefs, if you will, and there's a very strong gravitational pull to that familiar way of thinking because that's what we've always thought and because we hear it in our head, we believe it to be true. But having that desire for whatever that growth is for each one of us, that challenges that programming and that's an opportunity, with the awareness that we can begin to change those paradigms, and install some new, more expansive ways of thinking, to make welcome those new souls.
So those are some ideas in terms of, of supporting us and understanding, you know, how, how our thoughts impact our results, how we can begin to take our attention off, you know, facts and conditions off the fear, and begin to focus on what we do want and think about how we can do it, and recognize that those old beliefs are coming up, not to keep us stuck, but it's an opportunity to release those and begin to think in new ways, so that we can make welcome those new results in our lives.
Anthony Hartcher 12:44
Yeah, it's that very much, you know, from what I gathered, for what you're saying is, it's that alarm system that, you know, alerts us to hear that something is going on, listen to me, you know, listen to the alarm, pay attention to it, then just let that alarm just keep ringing and you're just ignoring it, just pay attention to it. Is that alarm? Because, you know, so I guess looking at it, and what's causing this and is that cause something that I'm running away from? Or is that cause potentially going to serve me if I see it as an opportunity to grow?
Because I'm thinking like, you know, those alarm situations where it's been triggered by past trauma, which is the brain said to it, well, remember that past trauma, if you get any signals from the environment of that past trauma, avoid that, you know, area or situation or, and so, you know, that there can be there the, I guess, alarm signals that protect us, but then we also have, as you mentioned, these alarm signals that aren't serving us.
They're really holding us back, they're not protecting us, and that we need to, you know, find ways to see that signal as an opportunity to then develop on you know, from that, as opposed to constantly running away from it and ignoring it. So, how can someone you know, if they've got this, you know, this fear, you know, that I'm not, I'm not good enough? Or, you know, I can't do that based on their upbringing and you mentioned rewiring and the way they think and stuff like that, is there any tools that someone can help, you know, like the self-help guide as to reprogramming that? Are there any tips you've got on that?
Stephanie Puente 14:40
Yes, yes. And that's a great question and, and, you know, wrecking, it's a good thing that we have these alarms going off inside of us and so using our power of discernment, and when we do have a clear vision for what it is that we want, even if we have had experiences in the past whether there was, you know, situations that occurred in business or situations that occurred, you know, in relationships where, you know, we experienced some failure, we experienced some, you know, distress in our relationships, and we've got that fear about putting ourselves out there again, when we have a vision of what it is that we would love that we would truly love, there's a, you know, a new idea for this next business that I would love to, you know, contribute to, or there's, I would truly long to have a loving relationship.
And even though my past experience has been this one way, I'm open to believing that I truly can allow for and make welcome a partnership that, you know, fulfills me and so when we have that vision, we can discern, is this action that I'm about to take, you know, go to the party, put myself on match.com, or take steps to put together the business plan or go to the networking group and start sharing with others? Here's what I'm doing.
You know, yes, this is uncomfortable but this action is I'm willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth, because this step is leading me and service of what it is that's important to me and so how do we, you know, recognize those signals? And what are the tips that we can do to, to really override it, when, when we're when we feel that part of us, you know, afraid, but we know it's in service of growth. You know, the ways that our paradigms will come up is through a few different ways and the first is a distraction.
So, you know, let's say there's, you know, your, there's some new, you know, health steps that you want to take, whether it be going to bed early, or you want to, you know, you know, start eating more fruits and vegetables or you want to add in drinking water, or there's a 5k that you want to run, and you've decided I'm doing this thing, and then boom, you know, something comes up and, you know, I need to, you know, instead of going on that run, let me get the laundry done first, or, you know, let me get the dishes done first, or, you know, five other things came up, and I didn't make it out for my run today, or a bunch of stuff happened at 1030 and I ended up going to bed at midnight, you know, so things will come up not to keep us.
But it's actually a qualifier, how committed am I to getting to bed early, to incorporating water into my diet, or going to the networking group and sharing my message. So distraction is something to keep an eye out for, and staying committed to that action step. Another way that the alarm signals can come up to dial us back down is, is what's called dissuasion, where we hear from this voice inside of us and sometimes it's disguised as very practical, logical thinking and it will, it will argue for why you can't do what it is that you want to do.
Well, you've tried, you know, many, you know, times to run a 5k or you've endeavored to, you know, start a meditation practice and you always end up stopping with it, or, you know, you tried that business before and you failed, or the last three relationships ended, you know, painfully, what makes you think, you know, and it's very seductive and we may find things in our facts and our conditions to seduce us into thinking that that is the truth and so we want to keep an eye out for that dissuasion, that part of ourselves that really is is arguing to keep things the state the same, because our paradigms they act like a thermostatic setting.
You know, we've got a certain temperature that we're used to operating from, if you will, I like that analogy and we know with our thermostat, when when it gets too hot, the thermostat kicks in to cool the temperature back down to 72 degrees and the same thing the heat will kick in to bring it back up to 72 degrees. Well, I invite us to consider we've got a thermostatic setting that we've been used to operating from and when it gets challenged, where we're welcoming more in our life, whatever that more is, for each one of us.
The paradigms will kick in through distraction, dissuasion, delay, I would love to write the book, but now, you know, or there's a trip I want to take, but now, you know, my daughter needs, you know, braces. So now that trip is going to have to wait until because there's in our minds, we think it's an either-or, versus what if it could be a both-and, and lastly, the last alarm signal is a term called DEF CON, which is a military term that I use, which means fear, you know, we're our nervous system. You know, we're about to post the blog, you know, or do the podcast for the first time or go to the networking group or go on that blind date or sign up for the 5k and it literally will affect our nervous system and we will, we will fear, feel a sense of terror.
But again, we can work with discernment, you know, you know, this is a good thing that I'm doing, taking these steps, because this is leading me towards what I want and I invite, I invite you to consider, you know, saying to yourself, I'm willing to be uncomfortable and this moment in the interest of growth, because I want what's on the other side, I want the good health, I want the loving relationships, I want this form of creative expression and my business or this is how I truly want to spend my time, you know, with my family in this way, so I'm going to stop working on Fridays, so that I can have more time to spend with my family.
Even though fear might come up well, what if, you know, what if client, what if I lose clients, you know, by, by changing my schedule, and trusting as I, as we lean into what feels expansive spending time with your family, we discover as we take those steps, that everything begins to rearrange itself in our facts and conditions to serve what matters to us, because if this resonates with you, you know, life is life is expanding through that time, you know, that you're spending with your family, because all the kids, you know, everyone is lifted up and raised as we are doing those things that feel life-giving to us.
So recognizing distraction, dissuasion, DEF CON, and then and then here's what we can do, you know, to, to, to reframe this, this discomfort that I'm feeling. We can notice it, we can take in a few deep breaths, you know, breathing in slowly through our nose and exhaling out slowly, like blowing out through a straw. A few of those deep breaths will shift us from that fight-flight, you know, fear, to a sense of rest, digest, create, and at that moment, that's our opportunity to bring our objective to mind, you know, connection with my child, connection with my spouse, you know, growing my business, improving my health, taking time with my family, starting my day with meditation, I can bring that objective to mind.
You know, and I can say, you know, this is simply an indication that I'm at the edge of what I've known, this fear that's coming up is telling me I'm at the edge of my comfort zone, I'm about to step out of what's been, and I'm stepping into something new and even though I feel this fear, it doesn't mean that I can't do or be or have, or go run that, you know, training run is, you know, you know, sit down for 10 minutes struggle through it, but yet I still do it, I do the meditation, this discomfort isn't an indication that I can't be, do or have what I would truly love to experience.
So I'm going to reframe it, and I'm going to recognize and tell myself, as long as I'm growing, fear is going to be there and it's a companion on the journey and, and I can have it, and it can come along with me, and it can get in the backseat, you know, I don't have to let it be in the driver's seat and we're going to take this step and we're going to do it afraid, because we want the growth that this is going to bring. So those are some of the ways that we can notice the alarm signals, discern and reframe what's coming up so that we can keep moving forward and grow and see all of that not as an indication that there's something wrong or something is missing, or you can't, but rather, here's an opportunity, how committed am I and I'm willing to take this action because what this says matters to me.
Anthony Hartcher 23:51
So I had a, I had a vision, then when you're sharing that was, you know, you're at that point where you're about to enter the other side or you know, go to the new you or the new vision, and you freeze at that point and you feel the fear about you know, growing into that new space and then you said like you're so you know, you get all the fear signals coming, your heart starts racing and you're breathing, you're panting and you start sweating and, and at the time, you know, calm the nervous system, as you said, so, you know, relax the nervous system, and that that will allow you to refocus on the vision and reframe the thoughts that aren't serving you to move through that barrier into that new you or that new level of growth where I sort of pictured that person breaking through the ceiling, so to speak, either like Superman, so yeah.
Stephanie Puente 24:49
Yeah, it really does take courage because, at the level of fact, there may be you know, what looks like in our conditions, reasons to us for why we You can't do what we want to do, you know, you know, if there's a certain event that you, you know, you have this vision of an event that you want to hold, and you've tried, you know, 10 locations, and they all say no, you know, you can't have the event here, or, you know, there's a business idea that you have, and you go to the bank, to the bank, to get a loan, you know, to create this business idea and we could, we could easily let those conditions cause us to feel, you know, that what we're moving in the direction of isn't possible.
Or we can have our history, we can have our past experience, which can be very seductive to us to cause us to feel that who we want to be and what we would love to create is impossible. So know that all of that, when it comes up, not if, but when that that it's not here as any evidence that it's here to dial you down and keep you stuck. This is the opportunity to transform it and there's a, there's a process and a growing season, if you will, as you keep taking those steps forward, you can trust that, eventually, your thoughts and your actions will bear, you know, the fruit of what it is that you are endeavoring to live into.
Anthony Hartcher 26:20
And that reminds me of the acronym I saw about fear and it was breaking fear down into each of its letters, and its false expectations appearing real. So I thought that's always stuck with me because often, as you said, if you allow that thought, and you start, you know, any, I guess, start putting energy towards that thought, then it just can become so much bigger and the fear is so much worse than what it actually is because you conjure up in your imagination.
Then I guess the, the doom and gloom, half of what that thought brings you and only negative consequences, and you're not thinking through the rationale as to is that real? You know, is that true? Do is that, you know, as you said, you know, you need to be in that calm state in order to do that reframing exercises. So, you know, it's taking those deep breaths and calming the nervous system and then you can, you know, think through the logic of what that thought is bringing you and it's probably his false expectations appearing real.
Stephanie Puente 27:31
Yes, yes and I've heard and then the opposite of that acronym, face everything and rise. Yeah, face it. Face to face that, that action, face it all, you know, the parts of you that are doubtful, the parts of you that are afraid, the parts of you that are arguing for why you can't, and this is my moment to rise above and discover, you know, that warmness that is, within each one of us that capacity for greatness, you know, by means of taking that step that we can take.
Anthony Hartcher 28:05
And just wanted to go further into this, because this is where I see the younger people of today, really wanting to do everything, because they don't want to miss out on that fear of missing out or FOMO. So let's, let's address that now because I can see it really holding people back because they're just trying to do everything, creating so much busyness, there's not enough time for the body to rest and regenerate and repair and do all the good things it does around looking after the health and well being and this constant busyness can result in excessive anxiety, and that over time can manifest into a depression so let's address FOMO.
Stephanie Puente 28:51
Yes, what thank you for that, that's such a great topic for consideration and discussion and, and I think, you know, that recognition, you know, as we think about the cause of our results, and that everything starts with inside of us and I invite us to consider and recognize, you know, we don't get a choice about creating our results where we're constantly creating, and we're creating one of two ways.
We're creating, either by design, where we have an idea of who we want to be and what we want to experience and create, or we contend to create, most of us, myself included, create by default, where we're just defaulting to a familiar pattern of operating a familiar way of thinking, you know, a familiar, familiar way of doing things and so and so that fear, you know, that drives us to do certain things, where we're reacting, you know, to different thoughts in our minds, different fears in our mind that will tell us, you know, that we're missing out that we've got to, you know, we have an end to if we're feeling something form of discomfort ourselves where we may not know exactly what it is that we want to do or what's important to us, or maybe there are some steps that we know we need to take.
Rather than do that sometimes we can default to letting ourselves be distracted by other things, that, that drives us to think certain thoughts, feel that sense of anxiety and overwhelm and then take those actions that do, whether it be you know, spending hours on the, you know, on social media, or staying up super late, or not getting out and getting exercise, or maybe we're eating while we're on social media, and we're stress, stress eating, and we're impacting our digestion, and all of that can be just a default to a familiar way of thinking and so my encouragement is, is to, you know, think about what, you know, who do I want to be? And what would I love to experience today?
You know, how would I love to show up today, or what, what matters to me today? And as I'm getting ready, as I hear from that part of me, that says, what you need to be here, and you need to, you know, go to these things or do these things and being driven by that fear, we can pause, take a few deep breaths, as we were talking about earlier, breathe ourselves into the present moment, which does move us out of that FOMO, reactive conditioned driven energy that we contend to operate in, and just breathe ourselves into the present moment where we can now ask an empowering question, you know, what, what matters to me in this moment? You know, how would I truly love to spend my time in this moment?
What would be something I could do that would feel really good to me, what I love? What what I truly love in this moment? And we can really hear from that authentic voice that knows the answer for the next steps and, and that we can trust, you know, maybe we don't want to spend those hours on social media, or we don't want to go to that party, or we don't want to engage in certain behaviors that we know, really aren't good for us and with those few deep breaths, and we come to the present moment, we can ask what would I truly love in this moment? What's most important to me? And what feels like an empowered step that I could take?
You know, and really make a decision coming from and trusting as I lean into what feels best and bright and in my highest good in this moment. As we endeavor to practice with that, I invite you to consider this as you begin to create your moments by your design coming from, you know, your authentic truth versus, you know, letting that fear drive us into actions and behaviors and thoughts that have consequences that aren't good for us. So those are some of the ideas that are coming to me, what, how does that resonate with you?
Anthony Hartcher 33:05
Yeah, it very much reminds me of something I read about Apple, the company, and how it develops great products that are, you know, really in high demand and essentially, what they said is in their development process of those products, the reason why they're so successful is that they say no more times, and they say yes, and so they're knocking back a whole lot of ideas before they go with one idea and it very much aligns with what you just said, in a sense that, you know, it's starting to question about all these, you know, invites to this or to go to this and this, or spend some extra time on social media is reflecting back on.
Is it, you know, is it aligned to my true self? Is it taking me towards my vision? And if it's not doing, either, then, you know, the answer is no, and you know, you should be doing something, as you mentioned, you know, either spending some extra time with your family, or spending time with your partner, or just doing something that's aligned to where you want to go as opposed to something that's just a distraction that you think aw if I don't go there, then, you know, I'll miss out on something but yeah, I just, when you're explaining that, and, you know, given the answer, I just thought of that analogy to Apple and how they design successful products.
Stephanie Puente 34:29
Yes, that's, that's a great example and the reminder that ourselves know what is best and right for us and it really does take courage, because the fear, the seduction, and those beliefs that we have, you know, some of those limiting beliefs about you know, you know, what, if people will, you know, I'm not likable, or all the many things that will, that's just part of our programming will rise up if we say no, to this thing and that and I invite us to know that that is not the truth, you know, the truth is, and that that's one of the ways to begin to also really feed our courage.
You know, grow our courage and starve our fear that in those moments, we can remind ourselves, you know, which, which I believe, I know the story about Apple, you know, they were reminded of their mission, you know, they went back to their Why and they, they, they let their vision and they're Why I believe, you know, determine the choices that they made, coming from a vision and so, when those limiting beliefs come up, you know, that's our moment to challenge them and to recognize that is not the truth. It's just a belief, and what if that's not true? And it does take courage to say no, and it is uncomfortable but we can remind ourselves, I'm willing to be uncomfortable in this moment, because I want the freedom, you know, that it will bring by means of these other steps that I know, our mind to take.
Anthony Hartcher 36:01
And I'm also thinking for those listeners that may be, you know, hearing us and hearing us talk about it, and they're thinking, Well, it all sounds so easy, but I, I still can't figure it out. So how can the listeners that are really stuck and really want some additional help, how can they best connect with you?
Stephanie Puente 36:21
Well, I know it, it does, it does sound really easy, and it is not easy and it's not a one and done thing, you know, it's sometimes for me personally, it's a moment to moment thing, you know, and as long as I remind myself and I invite you to remind yourself, as long as I'm growing, you know, I'm going to be I need to begin, I need to see myself, I'm opening up to seeing myself in a new way, I'm open to thinking in a new way, to open up to some new ideas for new opportunities for new results and, and the challenges are, you know, to notice what we're noticing, and the moment that we notice it coming up.
That's our moment to pause, shift, take a few deep breaths, you know, shift our energy, take a few deep breaths and reframe it with an empowering thought and it's a process and a practice and so, you know, working with you, you know, Anthony with the work that you do, and really supporting people and making changes in their health, you know, opening them up to some new ways of caring for and feeding their body and, and lifestyle changes. You know, having support in our lives really is essential, because it helps us to stay center stream with that vision that we have for vibrant health, for wellbeing, for success in our career and it's important to have support around us because it's, you know, we're humans, and we're navigating the facts and the conditions of our lives.
And how do we stay committed to, you know, being the person who was having great health, you know, having success in their career and having support is essential, because we can consistently and support people in thinking in a new way, installing some new practices, over a period of time that bring about those new results? So we all only, you know, we can only take the actions ourselves, but we need support around us as we live into and stretch into some new ways of being and acting to make welcome those greater results and so for people that are interested in learning more about having support.
They can connect with me through my website at stephaniepuente.com. And you can find that there in the show notes and, and then I also have a couple of ebooks, that people if they're interested, they can download those. Those are filled with some great tips for working through fear, for discovering our purpose, for transforming those, you know, fear thoughts, and learning some new empowered ways of thinking and I also offer a complimentary discovery session where I help people to get gain greater clarity about where they are, where it is that they would love to be, what's holding them back and what the next steps are that they can take to begin moving in that direction.
Anthony Hartcher 39:29
Fantastic. I'll incorporate all those links in the show notes for listeners to go directly to and your concluding thoughts or words of wisdom you'd like to leave with the listeners today?
Stephanie Puente 39:42
Yes, well, I want to I want to celebrate each and every person who is here today who continues to come to this podcast investing in your growth, in your awareness. Know that just by being here, and every time you tune into Anthony's podcast, you are expanding your awareness and opening up to new ideas. So continue with that great work and I want to close with a story that I think short, quick story that I think really underscores what we've talked about today and this is an old teaching story about a young boy who was part of a village and in this particular village, there was a rite of passage that all young boys went through to transition from boyhood to manhood.
And this was something that the boys looked forward to for all the years leading up to that certain age point and this young boy was now at that age point and he was excited, he was thinking about what this was going to mean for him, and what it was going to mean that he was now going to be a man and at the same time, he also started having a lot of fear and a lot of doubt, because part of the trick, part of this rite of passage was to be away from the community and he started having all these thoughts about what could go wrong, and what could happen to him and so he goes to the leader of the village, and he says, it's like, I feel so confused.
I've got two dogs inside of me, and one dog is fighting and fighting and say I can't and the other dog is saying that I can and I can, and they're fighting and fighting, and I don't know which one is going to win and the leader of the village, being the wise person that he was looked compassionately into the boy's eyes and he said, The one who says you can win and the young boy looked into the wise man's eyes and he said, How do you know that? And he said, because that is the dog that you will feed and so why this matters to us is that at any given moment, as we notice what we're noticing, we can feed our fear, we can give it our attention.
We know that where our thoughts go, energy flows, and we're going to think more of that but as we notice what we notice or noticing, we can feed our courage, we can feed our vision, we can feed what matters to us. And we can remind ourselves the truth of who we are and that you are more than this fear, you are more than your history and that no matter what has come before that has no bearing on what's possible. So remind yourself of those truths and ask yourself what's the step that I can take and feed that part of you and know and claim I'm willing to be uncomfortable in the interest of growth because I want you to know, the results that this step is going to lead me to.
Anthony Hartcher 42:29
Fantastic. I love that story. Thanks for sharing. And yeah, for the listeners continue to feed the dog that says you can and there's another episode coming up with Stephanie, who will continue to feed your I can with we're going to be talking about forgiveness. So that's up and coming. So stay tuned for more insightful episodes of Me&My health up. Thank you.
Transcribed by https://otter.a