Anthony Hartcher 0:09
Welcome back to another insightful episode of me&my health up. I'm your host, Anthony Hartcher. I'm a clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine specialist. And today's topic is going to be, and I'm talking about overcoming the Back to Work blues, yes. How do I overcome, going back to work and feeling all blue? That's what we're going to be discussing today. And I certainly can relate to this, because I've been on holidays myself, and I was thinking, I saw my wife getting a bit sort of, don't really want to go back. And it's so good on holidays. And I was thinking, Okay, this might make a good episode as to, how can you overcome the going to back to work blues. So that's the topic, and that's what we're going to be chatting about. So let me start with the thing about the whole perception around going back to work. So when we think about, okay, holidays, fun, fun having really enjoying, and then going to something that you're thinking is not so enjoyable. It's a perception, okay. And as I've described on previous episodes, that there's only three things that we can control in our life. And that's our perceptions, our decisions and our actions. So we can change the way we perceive things. So if you're perceiving going back to work, as all bad, and holidays are all good, we can shift that perception. So it's all great. And it's not like you're just enjoying the holidays and the rest of the year, you're not going to enjoy, you can enjoy life and love life for what it is, as opposed to having a fantasy of what it should be. And the actuality never living up to that fantasy that you have around how life should be, should it be one big holiday? Well, let me discuss this topic for you. And so in terms of changing and shifting that perception, so when you think about going back to work, you're thinking about all the bad things about going back to work, okay. So you know, it's going back and having to do the routine in the morning that you might not like and get the kids ready for school and making the lunches and they're going, you know, traveling and commuting into work, doing a day's work, getting home, running the kids to after school things, that there's aspects of that, that you won't, probably won't like. And so that perception of you going back, you're focusing on all the negative, or the things that you don't like, or you're not looking forward to aspects of going back to work. And with holidays, it's got good and bad experiences that go with it. And we choose to focus on the good aspects of being on holidays. And forget about the bad, for example, when you're traveling, there's the aspect of being delayed at the airport, or the long queues getting through security, or missing your flight or the flight being canceled. There's the weather that you can't control on holidays. So there's all these things that are not so great about holidays, as well. And the work I did during last year, which was with Dr. Demartini, he shared this real insight as to if we brace both sides of life, and integrated, then we can be grateful for life as it is, as opposed to just having a fantasy that life should just be one sided. And in actual fact, everything has two sides. And so holidays has two sides, we choose to focus on the good side and ignore the bad side or the not so good side. And then when it comes to work, we ignore the good side of work and choose to focus on the bad side. And hence why you have these going back to work blues is because of the perception you have of going back to work and the perception you have whilst you're on holidays. And again, it's you choosing this one sided aspect of it. And that's our amygdala. It's our it's our part of our limbic system center. It's the essentially the fight flight or freeze center of the brain, the animal part of the brain, it's the survival part of the brain, and it's wired for one side of this so that if the, if the predators just in front of you, you're going to run the opposite way. Okay? It's simple, right? It's, it's very one sided thinking, I don't want to be eaten by that predator. I want to get away from it. And so it's all bad about bringing
Love it in them, because you're owning both sides of you and, and then you'll get to a point where you think, Well, yeah, I do that behavior just as much as they do. And you're thinking, well, they're just human, and they have two sides. And I can appreciate me for who I am, because I have two sides, and I can better appreciate them for who they are. Because they have, that you're loving the whole person, as opposed to just wishing they'd behave in a way that you expect them to behave. And again, that you're projecting that onto them in terms of what you like about them. And you know, you say you're splitting them at the same time, you're splitting yourself, because there's part of you that you're disowning. So in order to have better relationships and look forward to seeing this work colleague, you can ask the question of yourself, about when I've, I've done what I dislike about them in my life, and keep writing that down, until you completely own what they've done, that you dislike about them. And you can say I do it just as much as they do it equally, just as much. And therefore you have a greater love for yourself, and a greater appreciation and love for them. And that way. Therefore, you'll find the interaction with them is much more pleasurable, because you'll have more appreciation and love for yourself and for them, and you can appreciate them, and what and who they are, and respect them for who they are. The other thing is, is then looking at what the hell that action has served the person that they're giving the feedback to. So how has it served them? How has it benefited them? And again, feedback is breakfast of champions. So if that person didn't receive the feedback that you thought was a bit mean or cruel, then how can they improve? How can they grow and become better? person better people? How do you grow is when you get feedback? How do I grow doing this podcast is when I get feedback from my listeners such as you as to what you're liking what you're disliking what you'd like more of. That's how I grow. I also listen to other podcasts and think well, that's they do that brilliantly. So let me introduce that into this podcast. So you get a constant and never ending improving podcast. Okay, so that covers that question around. If there's a someone that you're not looking forward to going back and seeing at work, such as your boss, it could be your boss, if you want to improve relationship with your boss, you want to start listing down all the things you dislike about them, and then owning it in yourself, okay, and own each trait action or inaction that they do that you dislike in them, and look at where you do it in your life, and own it in yourself. And therefore you can appreciate that you have both sides, they have both sides, and you're both completely lovable human beings. So that's how you can improve your relationship with your boss or your work colleague. Again, you can then look at how that action inaction or trade has have been, if you see it as a negative thing, how it's actually served the person they're doing it to. So whether they're doing it to you or someone else, how does it serve them? Okay, how does your boss giving that feedback to you actually serve you? How's it of benefit, and you can list all the benefits of how that has served you in your life. And again, I can think of all the times when I've been corrected, or disciplined or given feedback, which was probably hard to receive because it damaged my pride at the time. However, I've taken it on board and improved. I'm always improving myself based on the feedback I get from others. And so I don't take any feedback as cruel or mean I don't label it as cruel or mean. I see it as feedback. And I think
Tony DiLorenzo 14:17
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Anthony Hartcher 14:58
What else Speak to that can I take to better improve myself Is it something is a reason why I disliked the feedback is because I'm not owning it in myself, it's something I dis own about me that I don't like about me. Therefore, there's, I'm not loving a part of me. So therefore, I can then focus on, I need to connect with that, and see the benefits of that had of doing that, or having that in me, and how it's serving myself in my in terms of what I value and my my values I've shared before, which is your health, and enhancing your health, and improving your health, and helping you grow as an individual and having the healthiest life possible. I also value doing that to myself. So what I'm sharing with you a tips that I've learned that have benefited me, so I'm passing on the knowledge, I value my family, that's really important to me. So there I'm looking at what that feedback and how it served me and those highest values of mine, how it served me in aspects all aspects of life, and enlisting down all the benefits of what they did to me, and how it served me in those areas. And if you look, you will find the answers the answers, they just need to look for it. So ask better questions. So if you want better relationships at work, and look forward, you might not look forward to but you can then have a a interaction without having any resentment or dislike or despise towards this individual. By owning that trading new Loving it in you. And seeing that you have both sides, they have both sides. And the only way we can love one another is if we embrace both sides of us and then so and then, and then asking how that serves you? And how is that of benefit. So when you've done it to someone else, how has it benefited when you've given that feedback that may be classified as mean or cruel or nasty? How has that served them, you were being very black and white and very blatant. And they've got a direct message, there's no beating around the bush. So they've got the message, you've shared the feedback, they've got it right there pride may have been or their ego that may have been sunlight dented, and hence why they haven't taken it or been very receptive of it. However, the message has been very clearly put to them as feedback as to whatever it was that you that you wanted them to know about. And they may have had that blind aspect or haven't turning a blind eye to it. And you made it clear that that was a mistake in the projects. And, and this is how we could have done it better. So they've got some constructive feedback. But some people may perceive that as mean, because they, they have this fantasy that they should be perfect. And they should make no mistakes. And there actually is no mistakes at all, just learning. So in terms of going back to work and knocking down those blues, ask better questions. Ask yourself, how is going back to work serving me? And what are you looking forward to about going back to work? If you ask that you want to balance it as and then you want to feel okay, I'm, you know, it's it is what it is and I'm going back to work but you're not labeling is Oh, it's so bad going back to work. I don't want to go back to work. It's such a terrible thing. Holidays are so good. And again, you can neutralize the euphoria over holidays by balancing it with what are the drawbacks or disservices are being our holidays, in terms of what you value. So when I'm on holidays, I'm not serving you. Okay, and that's of high value to me, yes, I'm serving, you know, with my family. So that's also of high value. But the, I guess the disadvantage, or the downside of me being on holidays is that I'm not sharing information or not giving you tips and I love doing that. Right? And so that's a drawback but it's counterbalanced with being with my family and spending time with them. But um, it's very neutral in terms of Yes, holidays, like I embrace them, I enjoy them. But I am certainly looking forward to getting back and empowering you with this, you know, with these tips. And so I certainly like get that aspect of I gotta go back to work. And so ask yourself better questions about how going back to work is going to serve you and what's important to you, how does it serve you and and and what's important to you and your life and keep asking that until you I feel that there's just that satisfaction of Yes, holidays have been great looking forward to go, you know, the, it's just going to be just as good being back at work, that's you want to have that neutral aspect as opposed to that one sidedness. You want to transcend that one side of thinking into that higher level thinking and have a more objective view so that you see both sides, the good side of going back to work, and they're not so good, but it's it is balanced, it's completely balanced, just like everything in our world is balanced. It's always our worlds in a state of dynamic change, to balance, and at any one moment, everything's perfectly balanced. And it's constantly this change coming in. And we're constantly adapting to that change and restoring the balance. That's what our bodies are always doing is bringing us back to balance. So essentially, if you improve your thinking and have a more balanced perspective of life, it balances your hormones, it balances your health and well being and you can essentially, improve your health and well being by balancing your perceptions, because it takes us out of that animal thinking which is fight flight or freeze. And that fight or flight or freeze is very much a one sided, lopsided, sympathetic dominance. So it's that I got to get away from the threat running, running, running, or I'm going to freeze and hide and hopefully the threat goes away, or I'm going to fight that threat. Again, it's very much getting us in a state of sympathetic, which is those were our cortisol, stress hormone, our nor epinephrine or epinephrine, our adrenal response is very much getting us into you know that running away. And it turns off digestion, it turns down regulates our immune function down regulates our sexual reproductive function. And so if we can have more balance, thinking out, we're in a more balanced state to be able to swing to, if we need some immune support, our body can turn it on, as opposed to just constantly running away from things in life that we're trying to avoid. And our immune system has been suppressed because all the blood is the all the blood and oxygen, and the glucose is going to the muscles to help us get away from the threat. So in I guess, summing up this talk about the, you know, overcoming the going back to work blues, is asked yourself, the question about how going back to work is going to serve you in your areas of highest values. So going back to work can help with reconnection. So if you have friends at work, there's obviously people that you love hanging out with and chatting with. And so that going back to work, you've got something to look forward to, yes, I'm looking forward to catching up with them to see what they did in the holidays. I'm looking forward to jumping on the next project with them and, and getting you know, working together as a team and achieving success as a team. I'm looking forward to getting my next you know, working well towards achieving a bonus so that then I can then spend the bonus with my family and go on another holiday. Again, it's start looking for the things that that are really going to inspire you about going back to work, what inspires you, and the things that you dislike. Also ask, how are they serving you? Okay, so how is the things that you dislike serving you? So if you don't like seeing that person, because if particularly done something to you, how is that person serving you and your highest values, they're giving you feedback, they're helping you love a part of you that you are just owning?
Yeah, so start thinking asking yourself these better questions, and you will have a better, better, more balanced perspective and and be able to embrace both sides of life holidays and work and love them both and, and be grateful for both of them in your life as opposed to loving one and hating the other. So that's very much it for this episode of me&my health up. If you would love some help in terms of overcoming the going back to work blues, or how to love yourself and love yourself, all of who you are as opposed to only loving one side or to help improve a relationship that you are unhappy that it's gone downhill or you just don't want to you know you have to work with that work colleague. And if you're not enjoying your work because of them. I can help with you loving that work colleague so it
It actually is, you have gratitude for them being in, in the workplace and that you actually, you'll actually have an improved relationship and be able to better work with them. And you won't be having that, you know, resentment of going back to work because you might run into this particular work colleague, so I can help you in certainly these areas and to go through this questioning hold you accountable, and, and support you on your journey to see life for as it is, and love it for as it is, and have gratitude for everything in your life and to love you, the whole you and to love others, every individual on this on these planets, essentially, how they have love for one another. I can help you with that. Please just reach out and I'd be more than happy to take you through the consultation to really support you to achieve that love for everything as opposed to just loving one side and despising the other side of life. So hope this was a benefit to you. Please share it with others that could also benefit from overcoming the going back to work blues, and stay tuned for more insightful episodes of me&my health up.
Anthony Hartcher 26:27
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