New Year Be You with JJ Ferrari

How to be authentic and be yourself?
 
How to break habits that are detrimental to you?

In this episode of me&my health up, our very special guest Joanna Ferrari, who is also known as JJ Ferrari (CEO of Dance Monkey Companies and Former CEO for Anthony Robbins) tackles what she went through in the process of her new transition, being herself, being authentic and more driven to inspire, and empower people.

About JJ Ferrari

Joanna Ferrari (or JJ Ferrari as she prefers to be known) has achieved degrees in biology, and nutrition, nursing. She also studied genetics and chemistry. She grew an Australian telecom business from $10 million to $80 million in under three years and is a former CEO for Anthony Robbins, and three other companies. She has trained, coached, and consulted with over 1,800 businesses with her Business Prosperity course.

JJ Ferrari, as she is a well-respected, inspirational keynote speaker, and transition and performance coach. She is a successful, courageous, and resilient businesswoman. And she brings all of these qualities and more to our presentations, which are renowned for the authentic, humorous, and thought-provoking content that inspires the audience, which is you to rethink life and career in completely new ways.

JJ Ferrari also owns a couple of businesses like dance monkey design, which is a website company, and dance monkey training, which is a company where she teaches marketing and sales and actually does consulting for businesses. And then she got a dance monkey marketing, which is the third business and that's where she actually does all the marketing for her different client's houses.

Connect with JJ Ferrari

Instagram: JJ Ferrari 48
https://www.instagram.com/jjferrari48/?hl=en

JJ Ferrari Website:
https://jjferrari.com/home/

JJ Ferrari LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jjferrari48/?originalSubdomain=au

About me&my Health Up & Host

me&my Health Up seeks to enhance and enlighten the well-being of others. Host Anthony Hartcher is the CEO of me&my wellness which provides holistic health solutions using food is medicine, combined with a holistic, balanced, lifestyle approach. Anthony holds three bachelor's degrees in Complementary Medicine; Nutrition and Dietetic Medicine; and Chemical Engineering.

Credits
Podcast editing: Yugorithm Global Services

Podcast Disclaimer
Any information, advice, opinions or statements within it do not constitute medical, health care or other professional advice, and are provided for general information purposes only. All care is taken in the preparation of the information in this Podcast. [Connected Wellness Pty Ltd] operating under the brand of “me&my health up”..click here for more

Transcript

Anthony Hartcher  0:10 
Welcome back to another episode of me and my health up. I'm your host Anthony Hatcher. I'm a clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine specialist. The purpose of this podcast is to enhance and enlighten your well being. And today we have a very special gift guest for the new year is a third episode that's dropped in the new year. And guess what, this is the one hundred and fiftieth episode. So what a milestone Thank you, all you listeners out there for tuning in to me and my health up. Really appreciate your support and keeping me inspired to stay on mission to keep serving and empowering you in all areas of health and well being. And yesterday's guest is very special. We have Joanna Ferrari, who is also known as J. J, as she is a well respected, inspirational keynote speaker, transition and performance coach. She is successful, courageous, and resilient businesswoman. And she brings all of these qualities and more to our presentations, which are renowned for the authentic, humorous, and thought provoking content that inspires the audience, which is you to rethink life and career in completely new ways. And yes, JJ does amazing, amazing job at doing that. You'll love this episode, I really enjoyed recording it with JJ it was so authentic, and so much courageous, inspirational insight that JJ shares. So you are going to get so much out of this new episode, titled New Year, be you so it's all about authenticity. And there's no better person on this planet earth to talk about being authentic. And that's without much further ado, I'd love to welcome you into the discussion I'm having with JJ, welcome JJ Ferrari on the me and my health up podcast. How are you today?

JJ Ferrari  2:11 
I am fantastic, but not as good as you.

Anthony Hartcher  2:16 
So today's topic is New Year, be you or it's essentially authenticity. I noticed on your LinkedIn profile you've got next to your name authentically myself, which I thought was wonderful. I really love it. And just for the listeners sake, please share a little bit about your background, your story.

JJ Ferrari  2:39 
Wow, that's a loaded question. There's so much. So JJ Ferrari. My name is actually Joanna. And I'll tell you what JJ means in a minute. So I am 53 years male. And at the age of 53, I followed through on my knowing this, which is what I call it, and transition my gender, which is the way that I actually refer to it, because to me, it's a process that I had to go through so that I can live a female life. And I've got the most incredible female life and I love it so much, right? So I I own a couple of businesses. So I own dance monkey design, which is a website co mpany, I own dance monkey training, which is a company where I teach marketing and sales and actually do consulting for business. And then we've got a dance monkey marketing, which is the third business and that's where we actually do all the marketing for our different clients house. So if you can't tell I'm somebody who loves business, right? I love doing business. I love sales. I love marketing, but you wouldn't know that because that's how we met.

Anthony Hartcher  3:53 
Absolutely, absolutely. And I was very drawn into your presentation, it was very much I could see you're being you. And that's what I was connected with. And your message was so sincere and clear. And, and sales to me, like, you know, when I think about the  route or the you know, the success behind sales is really the salesperson being them. And being that not not not trying to put on a mask or a persona. They're essentially, if they're authentically themselves, and then you know, putting the client's interest at heart as number one, then that really builds that trust. So if you've got any anything to share around that,

JJ  Ferrari  4:34 
you know, I mean, you really hit the nail on the head with that because a lot of people think that it's ingenuity that actually helps to improve sales, but it's actually just part of that word, which is the biggest part of the word which is genuine. And when you are actually genuine, you are more in the flow, you're more connected to things around you to people and you don't have to sell at that point. What you're really doing is having a great conversation that ends in an action, right. And if more people understood that, they would understand that most people are actually pretty good at selling when they have a passion. And so if you take passion and you take your genuineness about what you are selling or marketing, you actually get much better results. So that's a good place to start.

Anthony Hartcher  5:26 
Yeah, now, I sort of got distracted with the way you're going with your conversation. But essentially, you wanted to share about where JJ comes from. And I'd love for listeners to hear that story.

JJ Ferrari  5:39 
So JJ is actually it stands for John and Joanna. So my name in my male life was John. And my name now is Joanna. But JJ reminds me to bring all of myself to everything I do in every situation. It was part of my normalization program or pattern for getting back into my life instead of actually pulling away from my life and trying to live this, this new facade that I had tried to put on. And so I was losing myself in all of it. Anthony, I was like, lost in you know, do I keep John? Do I have to become this whole new person, and you start doing really strange things, because no matter when, or what we're trying to do, that's new in our life, we have a tendency to go into hyper, right. And so I went very hyper female, right, my lipstick got smudged, I was really applying it right, I was wearing wigs all the time. I've always had to be wearing dresses Seagull, very hyper feminine, when you're first going through it, and a lot of people have a tendency to get stuck over there. So JJ was my way of getting back into life back into the world. And going, Wait a minute, this is not what I signed up for. Right? What I wanted to do was live my female life. But I didn't want to lose everything else. I didn't want to lose doing business. I didn't want to lose family and friends, I didn't want to lose the ability to be myself. And so JJ reminds me to be myself. And it changed my world. Because all of a sudden, all the people who ran away, I mean, literally ran away like roaches, when you turn on the light, when I first started going through my transition, the right ones actually came back into my life, my family is all back around me. Some of my very best friends who knew me for years and years, are now back in my life, because I normalized, right? I was living authentically. And JJ helps to remind me of that every single day.

Anthony Hartcher  7:59 
That's fantastic. And essentially, the connection we've had in that sales presentation that you gave was, I was truly connected with who you who you are, and you being so comfortable with being you. And that really drew me into the whole presentation, I was so engaged for the whole presentation. And it was amazing, I learned so much and really felt I developed the deep connection yet we hadn't really had eye contact, because I was at the back of the the webinar behind the wall or something again, but just through your words and and seeing you perform and being so comfortable on stage was just really took me into the presentation and kept me so present. So it was certainly I suppose that authenticity just exuberates from you, hence why I asked you on the main my health that podcast because I really think like what concerns me is, you know, when the new year begins, people then think, Oh, they've got to become someone else that you know, they're unhappy with last year, oh, it's me, I've got to change and put on a new mask or a new persona. And that's not the right way to go. It's essentially just being who they are, and being comfortable with who they are, and allow the world.

JJ Ferrari  9:16 
That's a good point. That's a really good point. But yeah, just think about something. So most people think that, you know, they think that there's this war going on between their outer life and their inner life. But there's no more. There's no more going on. Because if there was truly a war, most people's inside self who they really are, would lose because they don't actually strengthen. They don't actually work on they don't actually even know themselves in most cases. Most people walk around like a sponge and we're absorbing the external world right. The problems going on there the challenges that people have, the things that people say, what media is showing us, right? And we absorb all of that. And that starts to bury this inner self that we have. And most people don't realize their true potential, their true strength. They don't live authentically, right? Because they haven't bolstered that confidence that courage. They haven't worked on that inner self. They don't listen. So they don't know their own intuitions even. So I'll give you a clear example. So when people say, How did you know that you needed to transition your gender? I didn't get knew me. Right. It's there was this knowingness that actually knew me. And I kept avoiding it and pushing it off and not listening to it and doing you know, as many male things as I could do, right? Becoming alpha in everything that I did. And when I finally stopped and started really working on myself, because there's a difference between self growth and personal development, okay? And we're going to unpack that a little bit if you like. But there's such a big difference. self growth means I want to work on me, and I'm going to start to listen in. And I'm going to figure out who's talking. You know, do I hear my mom? Do I hear my dad? Do your mind grandparents? Do I hear teachers from my past work? Where is that those current voices going on in me? And? And what is my actual voice sound? Like? Have you ever asked yourself that? What does my real voice sounds like? And so when you start to listen in to try and find your true voice, that's when you start to have self growth, right? Because everybody's looking for courage, everybody wants more confidence. Everybody wants to overcome their fears. But you can't do any of that, until you really start to find that that truth of your voice?

Anthony Hartcher  12:14 
And how do you know that it's the truth? Like because there's so much chatter going on in the mind in terms of how do you know when it's the true voice versus an imposed, or you know, that you're taking on someone else's values or belief systems? How do you know it's actually your voice?

JJ Ferrari  12:32 
Well, here's the thing, you're always going to take on other people's values, you're always going to take on other people's ideas, right? There's been there's nothing really original, there's a lot of synthetic creativity and imagination that happens even around beliefs and values and ideals. But when you are passionate about something, your inner voice is talking to you in its normal way. When you're angry about something when you get to heightened emotions, period, you will hear your true voice right. Now at first, if you do if you go angry, if it's like a constant anger, right? It's probably not your voice that's probably associated to someone who you knew who had those values and beliefs, and you will love them or trusted them so much that you are acting those out. And that's very, very common. But when you get angry about something that's been done to someone else, which is really common, people get more upset about things that happen other people than they do about things that happen to themselves. Or you get really passionate about something in those places, you can hear your voice. The other place that you can actually start to find it. Most people hate this, they don't want to know about this, right? Bla bla bla bla bla, is in meditation, right in meditation. A lot of those other voices as you start to work on meditation start to move away because they get bored. Right. And that's really what you're trying to do is get those extraneous voices board so that you can start to hear yourself. And the most interesting thing that I can tell you about that is, it doesn't sound like your brain, your voice sounds a lot more like your heart and a lot more like your intuition. Right. And that's when you start to really know yourself. And that's when you can countermand a lot of what actually happens around you in your external space and really start to be more authentic. Does that help?

Anthony Hartcher  14:49 
Absolutely. It actually reminded me of a bit of my backstory in my 20s I started out as a chemical engineer, started working for a company and it just didn't feel right. And I went along to Anthony Robbins has, obviously, Unleash the Power Within and you're, you're the former CEO of his organization. And, and yeah, so it was all about, you know, I guess finding my voice and what I wanted to do and and that stage are still a bit, you know, I didn't know, I really didn't know because I think the the external noise was so loud in terms of why I became a chemical engineer. And just, you know, my, I guess my inner voice had been really shut down. And it took a while for it to surface. But I then came across this network marketing company that was in health and wellness, and I signed up and I thought I'd give it a go. Because I, you know, I didn't want to trade time for money essentially. And I was looking for it Avenue, and went around, and I was doing presentations on these health and wellness products. And, and, and I was getting unbelievable sales. And actually the same time in my company, I was an account manager in sales, and I was doing far better in the health and wellness space. And I thought it like people would come away from the presentation go, Oh, you're amazing, you know, you just really light up in this subject matter. And I thought yet sort of really been my life health and wellness. And so I didn't take a lot from it other than I thought, you know, really like health and wellness, but I didn't believe I could make a career out of it. I went back to continue to working in the space. And then similar to your story, I guess that little seed that was sown back then just sort of to grow a little bit more, a little bit more, and I started to get more confidence. And, you know, probably probably it was a decade after that I then decided to make the change into this health and wellness space. Yeah, but yeah, it was essentially allowing that seed to grow and grow. And yeah, now I'm in a space that I truly love and you have resonates with me and I feel at home

JJ Ferrari  17:01 
with two things. One, you say that we didn't connect at the event when I was actually speaking, but I know exactly where you were sitting, right. So you were sitting about four or five people back and you were sitting off to my right hand side. But here's the thing, you've got excellent energy, right? So you've got very good energy about yourself, your energy is calming, but your energy is also confident, right? So you're a bit of an introvert, but you're also really good at talking to people. Why? Because if you believe in something and you hit the nail on the head, if you believe in something, all of a sudden you're exuding more confidence, right? And the thing is, people go well, I don't have confidence. But confidence, there isn't one thing called Confidence. There's multiple things. There's about eight major confidences that you have to develop right in your life and three are absolutely musts for life. So one would be communication, communication, confidence. The second one would be financial confidence, right? Not how to just make money, but what to do with money. And the third is relationship confidence, those three confidences, you can actually turn it up or turn it down, and you can tell what a person's going to be able to do in their life. Right. So it's really interesting, but then you've got body confidence. You've got mental confidence, right? How someone is willing to trust that thinking. But you asked him said something that I think you know, is interesting for your audience. And that is, your confidence grew. But what you didn't say is my skills grew, right. The accolades that I was getting grew, right, the financial rewards came along with growing that. And I'll bet you that voice inside started to get stronger, but you started recognizing it like this, right? Because it's, all of a sudden, it starts to cut through all the rest of the old voices, it starts to tell a lot of the other voices in your head, Hey, shut up. I'm busy here, you know, so it's just kind of fun.

Anthony Hartcher  19:09 
I really liked how you said, you know, the confidence is in those different areas, such as communication, relationships, finances, what are some of the tips you can give people for the new year in terms of how to grow a particular area of confidence that they may feel that's lacking or they feel a bit disempowered with how can they go about empowering themselves?

JJ Ferrari  19:31 
Okay, so very quickly when I start working with any any of my coaching clients, or if I'm if I'm actually teaching self growth, the first thing that you have to do is get someone to understand where they want to go, because here's what most people do with a year. Right? It's a go through the entire year. I get to the end of the year, I go on a big celebration I take that year, I flip it over, and I start living Last year, again, under a guise called the New Year, okay? The month I act like the months are the same, the weeks are the same, I probably take the same holidays, right? I do everything exactly the same. So, you know, why why not just call the new year last year, I mean, it doesn't really make any difference, right. So what you have to do if you want to actually change a year, is not just flip it over. But flip it over, because that becomes the new calendar, but point it in a different direction, point the whole year, in a different direction. Don't let the calendar just keep going this way, turn it this way, or turn it this way, pointed in a direction that you wanted to go. So how do you do that? You have to learn about what you really want. And people who are alone. Now here comes the goal setting session. Now it's not really because I will never ask people what their goal is, because everybody wants something, they just don't know what it is. Right? Not at a level that they would be willing to commit to. And that's very, very different. And also not at the level that they'd be willing to develop some courage about. So there's an exercise that I get people to do, actually, I can show you very quickly, let's see if I can fly. So. So in the first 30 days, this is what I have people do. Can you see that? So I have them make a list of one to 10. And then what I haven't do is draw a line under three, every day for 30 days, if somebody really wants to change their year, if they really want to see their outcomes skyrocket. This is what I have them do. So you write down every morning, as soon as you get up. Everything is top of mind, you write down? What are the top 10 things that I want most in my life, what is the top 10 goals that I have. And the next day that you get up and you go to write them down, you don't get to look at the page before you now don't write them again. Okay, what's happens is really, really interesting. By the end of 30 days, your clarity on what you want is so absolute. So something that you'll commit to something that you don't even need to develop more courage, you're like get out of my way I want to go get this because of the fact that you've actually cleared a lot of old goals and old ideas of what you might want. So it becomes a way to not end up in that resolution solution type of situation where, at the beginning of every year, I set a brand new goal, right, but two and a half weeks later, I can't remember what it was, right? So this way, instead of actually jumping in writing something down, and then you know, failing at it, because goals teach us to fail, right, unfortunately. But when you do this, you actually find out what you really, truly want. Because you keep saying to your brain every day, what is it? What is it? What is it? And then I teach people to do this here. So this is notes. So what happens is, when you start to write down those goals, some of them are going to go like Oh, and you're going to have one of those aha moments. And what you do is you write down some notes of clarity, right? So like if I said, I want a new car, and I don't really know what kind of car I want, I just want to get a new car, because my old was broken down or something like that. All of a sudden, I start having an image come into my mind about oh, I want a blue car. And oh, no, no, no, it's red, I want a red car. And I write that down as the note right? What happens? Now your hearts taking over. And it's actually projecting images of what you would really want. So here's the third part, there's only three parts. The third part is that you walk around, and you look at and observe your world daily. Okay, so if you are writing down goals every day, this takes 10 minutes. You write down your goals, any notes that come into mind about any of the goals, you write them down, notes are also going. Those are important, right? Because you don't get notes about everything. And then the third thing is, if you walked around all day, looking for clues as to what your goals are, you're going to find that some of the most important things actually start to show up. And people think it's voodoo. People think it's this magic woowoo thing, but it's not. It's the fact that I mean you're a chemical engineer, so you understand we are one hundred percent energy, right? And a lot of chemicals got together or to create this solid formation that allows us to have an experience in the world called human. Right. But when you start to understand that there's this energy and attraction around you, and that we can actually create that, you start to do things like this with a very different sense of not just optimism, right? But optimism optimized thinking, right. And if you don't believe in this, I have a very quick exercise for you every morning, instead of writing down your goals, I want you to get up and say, people hate me, I suck. I'm sick. My health is terrible, right? I want you to say that I'm broke. I want you to say those things for only five minutes a day. And I can guarantee you most people will never take me up on doing that exercise, because they're afraid of what could happen, right? So if you're that afraid of what could happen by saying those negative things? What if you could turn it around and feel the positive beliefs from actually saying the positive things. And the very least that can't hurt? Right? So that is the way that I typically start someone down a path of getting more self growth. And believe it or not, you can get healthy from doing that, right? Because the mind and the body, as you know, are so well connected. And when you light up the brain with great ideas, it goes down through your spinal column through your nervous system, and then you actually feel excited. And here's what I would say to your audience, when's the last time you felt energized and charged? About a goal that you wanted to achieve? Most people would be like, I've never felt that. Right. But this is where the rubber meets the road. Why don't most people become successful? It's very simple. Because instead of being able to grow in confidence, a lot of people grow in fear. Okay? There's your two balances fear and confidence. If confidence is going up, fears have to go down, right? Can they go down in a calibrated fashion? Absolutely. Right. They can go down a little bit at a time, right? You don't just go you know what I woke up this morning, and I overcame my fear. That's not exactly the way it happens, right? Medication can do that. But most people don't like that feeling either. So you've got those two balances. But if you remember what I just said, something that lights up, the brain goes down the spinal column into the nervous system, you now feel your success, right? Or what you want. Fear does the exact same thing. Fear lights up the brain, grabs a hold of imagination, grabs a hold of memory, right, grabs a hold of your emotions, and says you're working for me now. They drive all kinds of chemicals down the spinal column into the nervous system. And now you feel afraid, right? So sometimes you have to actually stop and think, oh, do I feel afraid? Or do I feel the thrill of succeeding? Right? And so when you start to actually make little changes and little distinctions about what you're really feeling in your brain, your nervous, thrilled excitement, right? Passion. That's when you actually start to affect your own nervous system. And those things actually help you grow in your confidence. So major confidence is communication. Why does that someone typically communicate? Typically, because they're not feeling like anybody's going to want to be interested in hearing what they have to say? Not that they can't say it? Because some of the best salespeople I know are introverts, right? Because they don't see a lot, but what they say is very pointed. And that's beautiful, right? And that's how it should be. Body Confidence is another one, right? How do I walk around female after having been 134 kilo body builder? Because I had to redevelop my body confidence. I had to go you know what? I don't have to look like a magazine. I don't have to look like a model, right? I have to look like me. I have to feel my body the way it needs to feel how It needs to move by gesture, you know, all and that gives you an incredible amount of confidence. So that brings it up a notch. Relationship confidence, right? You grow into that, because then you start to see who loves me Who doesn't love me? Because everything we do is for love. Right? You know, somebody says, Oh, well, what do you think gay is I said, their own personal way of finding love. That's all it is. So the transition for me is my own personal way of finding personal love, self love, right? So every time you grow in a confidence, your overall confidence starts to soar. Do you then need to still work on your fears? Probably not. Probably not. Because fear starts to subside as confidence grows, because and you would understand is this the chemical balance, right? So the chemicals that create confidence are also the same chemicals that dilute and then help you overcome fear.

Anthony Hartcher  31:09 
Fantastic, really, it's so insightful, what you shared how resonated with everything in terms of starting with that goal setting. And what I really liked about it, is just making a start. And then, as you said, then you've got that notes page that you then you start to see more clarity as you so the see, you know, and you start to nurture that seed, it grows in clarity and becomes really clear. And that vision of that particular goal just becomes razor sharp. And, and it's that particular activating system, the RAs in action, isn't it, that it starts to filter the world according to your goals

JJ Ferrari  31:45 
I share something in common. And you wouldn't have said this in the in the event. But my degrees are biology, nutrition. I studied genetics, I studied chemistry and love mathematics, right. And I studied behavioral biology. So we're in the biology and the whole science field. And when you're in that, and this is probably why we relate as well as because I look at patterns. And most people don't see patterns. But But I look at things. If I have to get into something or out of something or change something enhance something I'm looking at what is what's the current pattern? How do I change the pattern, right? And so everything that we're talking about even my tools, when I'm working with, you know, a group of people or individuals is all about patterns, right? Because that's what the tools actually change. Patterns of confidence patterns of fear patterns of success. Patterns are just everywhere. And when you can start to see them. That's really what that 30 day exercise does, then, you know, you change your patterns,

Anthony Hartcher  32:51 
it just on that you just brought up perfect, it's perfect timing actually around. So some people will be carrying some old habits that they're not happy with, or you know, they feel that's taking them away from their goal. But they're embedded, they're entrenched, and they're looking at the new year thinking I really want to, you know, get move on from this habits or old behaviors or old patterns. How did how can they break through that?

JJ Ferrari  33:16 
Okay, so this is, it's actually more difficult to break a habit than it is to break a fear. Okay, and here's why we become accustomed to things. So a pattern created the habit, if that makes sense, a pattern created the habit. So I don't want to break a habit, I want to break a pattern, right? So what happens is, we don't even realize how ritualized we are, right, either in a positive way or a negative way, or even in a neutral way. And you have to recognize what is your pattern? So what's the first thing you do when you get up in the morning? I'm asking,

Anthony Hartcher  33:57 
yeah, I make a coffee at the moment. That's the first thing I do.

JJ Ferrari  34:03 
You do that for X number of days, some people is going to be one day, three days, five days, 21 days, 90 days, right? And that becomes a pattern. It's that simple. So when I've got that pattern in place, I don't think about a pattern, right? But when I start to not like that pattern, I say, oh, I need to break a habit. And that's not the truth. What I need to do is I need to actually break that pattern. How do you do it? It doesn't matter if you've been going for six years, 10 years, 30 years, a lifetime. What you have to do is interrupt that pattern, okay? And a lot of people will replace a pattern with a pattern and all that does is sidetrack it right. And what happens is when you sidetrack a pattern, you probably don't like the new sidetrack pattern as much as you liked your original pattern. And that is why we end up going back to it. That's why we end up having Yo-Yo dieting. That's why we ended up going back to smoking, right. That's why we ended up going back and back and back. That's why we go back to old relationships. That's how deep it can actually go. So you got to find a way to truly interrupt that pattern. Some people will use hypnosis, some people will go to Anthony Robbins right to the events, and find the pattern interruption system there. He calls it the dickens pattern, by the way, for you know, your listeners, and the dickens pattern is actually an interruption. And what it does is it takes you out, and it creates the most immense amount of pain that you could imagine around holding on to that pattern. And when you actually create pain, I mean, an immense amount, like to the point where you're like, I can't stand this, I have to change that. Right? That, oh, golly, wouldn't it be nice to change? Very different, right? But when I get to that immense amount of I don't change, I'm going to die. If I don't change, my world is going to end right collapse, and doesn't have to really be No, but if you believe that, it can be that painful. And so you have to get to an immense amount in your own mind, it just can't happen in reality, in your own mind, you've got to know that you have got to make that change, it's a must. And when you actually have that you can actually put that pain up against even the old habit and you go, man, I cannot go back to that. So it's really about breaking that pattern. And not the habit, the habit goes away, when the pattern gets broke. Gosh, we could talk about that a lot. Because that's like, that's like a 45 minute conversation to you know, or more, that's just to understand it, but then when you have to break it, but here's what I would say, if you know you have a habit that's detrimental to you, all you really need to do is take it out if you actually spent next year since we're talking about the beginning of the year here. If you spent the next year doing the exact same habit, what is going to be the complications that you created. If it's a health issue, are you even going to be alive at the end of the year? And I know that sounds awful. But are you even going to be alive? Are you going to be in a wheelchair? Or are you going to have to take more medication, right? What's going to happen to your ability to think your ability to communicate your ability to have relationships, if you actually kept going in decline, when you can actually understand that, then the pattern is interrupted. And what you can then do is reverse it. Okay. So what if I replace that with this new habit I replace smoking, or eating with going for walks or with reading or with, you know, hanging out with friends or with whatever is going to be something that you can actually see, that would actually take you to a new level. Now I'm not talking about straight up because every time somebody goes to a seminar, or hears things like this, they think, Oh, I'm an overnight millionaire, oh, I'm an overnight, you know, bottle. That's not the way it works. You know, you have to go to a level that's best for you. And that's really what it means. So it couldn't take you three years to hit your your goal or break a pattern, it could, but you can stay on an incline versus going back into a decline.

Anthony Hartcher  38:43 
And that leads perfectly into my next question is so that the listeners have started the year that they're doing the exercise that you shared. And I'm thinking the inevitable happens, you know, the summons external factor or you know, life event happens, and it supposedly gets in the way, it's like a roadblock what we call a roadblock. What are your tips in terms of helping the listener to navigate around over under through that roadblock?

JJ Ferrari  39:12 
Yeah. So there's, there's four C's that actually work together very well. So the first one is consciousness, right, becoming conscious of your internal world and your external world. The next one is to develop the courage to be able to do something different, right? You have to have courage to do that courage to overcome fear, right? And when you actually start to work on that, when you feel your heart centers actually start to come alive, and not focusing only on the brain. The next one, as we talked about as your confidence is right you have to develop those confidences, but the fourth one because you're talking about when you're overcoming barriers, right and when Then things come up in your world. And the last one is creativity. Okay? And why creativity, you'd be like, You mean sit down and do a painting? Now, that's not what I mean. What I mean is creativity is such a powerful assets. It's such a powerful instinct. And what it does is creativity is connected to our intuitions, right? It's connecting our gut feelings to our heart feelings to our head, those and if you look at it, that's kind of like a stoplight, right? You've got red, you've got yellow, you've got green. And if you actually go to your gut and and saw a color instead of asking him for words, you would get the words. So I always look to see, do I have green? Do I have a yellow light? Or have I got a bright red, you know, going on in my gut? Same thing for my heart. I want to know what what's lighting up there? What's the color that I'm feeling about what I'm actually facing or approaching? And the last thing that I listened to is my head. Because your head has a tendency to overthink and overthinking, overthink, and overthink, right? And it thinks it's being creative and giving you solutions. But it's really the mechanism that creates the most complexity for us, right? So when you're talking about creativity, you're finding creative solutions, you become more of a problem solver. Creativity is what we use to be able to make great decisions, right? Creativity, and being able to visualize things is how, if you look at the master chess players in the world, right, they are able to see that chessboard move all over the place. I don't know if you saw the Queen's gambit. I don't know if you saw that mini series. But it's absolutely beautiful, because you see her laying there and visualizing the entire chessboard moving, and what she's going to do if this happens, and I get blocked here, how do I play that? If this happens, what happens? And so what it starts to teach you is to make better and better and better decisions. Okay? The only reason why we don't make good decisions is because most people don't believe they have a choice. They've been living a life for so long that they're like, Well, this is just my life. And that's really not true, you always have the ability to creatively solve your life to the next level. Right, the next level of what the next level of confidence, the next level of courage, the next level of commitment, right, the next level of consciousness. And so you have to learn to be creative, but not in a way that you're just drawing pictures, right, but that you're listening in again, see, we've come full circle, because those creative centers let you listen into your gut is your gut instinct, or intuition is always right. Not really, because unless you've been working on your fears, right, you're going to hear the fears being projected, instead of actually truly hearing your instincts are actually truly listening to your heart. How about when we see someone and we're like, I am so attracted to this person, right, and our hearts going baboom baboom baboom of fear kind of kicks in, right and says, you're not really seeing this clearly, right? And it starts to tuck you away from it. And that other person, if you really looked in their eyes, you'd see the disappointment of the disconnect that happened because of not trusting that. But creativity is one of those inner centers that we learn to cultivate. And it's so powerful, and it does not take a lot. So I always have my journals always I write every single day, right. And that has taught me to actually really enhance my creativity and learn to trust it. Because trust is the word that sits in the middle of all those see words, right? If I don't trust, I'm not going to become more conscious. If I don't trust, I'm not going to become more courageous. If I don't trust, I'm not going to grow in confidence. If I don't trust, I'm not going to become more creative. So learning to trust yourself right before others is really, really important. And when you do that, any of those words become possible in your life. And what can't you do if you were more conscious, courageous, confident, and creative? Here's my formula.

Anthony Hartcher  44:37 
Absolutely love it. Thanks for sharing that JJ. And I was like, I gotta ask in terms of yeah, you mentioned that pattern. Interrupt was one of those pattern interrupts for you. Was people calling you JJ? Was that sort of that thing to you know, I guess trigger I guess the pattern interrupt if need to be or not really.

JJ Ferrari  44:57 
I'll be honest with you, because we're talking about often to study and I can't I don't believe in lying, I believe in answering the question, right. So, two years into, into my transition, I lost everything, Anthony. So the world that actually erased my whiteboard of all of my achievements, I've been a CEO three times, right? In companies in three countries. I've actually taught 10,000 people long term unemployed, how to find jobs in 12 weeks or less. I've worked with 1800 businesses on actually either training them consulting or coaching to them to new levels of success, I have done so many things in my life. And the world when I was going through the beginning of my transition just erased, my whiteboard said, Nope, clean slate. Now you've got to start over. People ran from my life, when I first one in the transition, even my own family was like, We think you've gone insane, we want to have you committed no kidding, exact words. And I got to the point where I got so depressed because I had to come off of hormones, because my body rejected it. And I attempted suicide. And when I went through that, I sat for eight and a half hours negotiating with myself. And what I realized sitting in that bathtub was I only wanted one thing. But when it's some area of my life, where I could just have a little bit of control, I had no control going on. I didn't know what to trust or believe in anymore. And so I had to do the things that we that I just got done describing that is where I found those tools, right. And I made a commitment to myself that if I dared step out of that bathtub and restart my life, that I was going to actually continue to grow, I was going to continue to work on myself, I was going to work on staying conscious, staying honest. And a lot of people don't like how honest I am about things, right? Because it's confronting, but I believe you have to be that honest. And when you start to actually live those ideas, man, that is so powerful, because now you're living from the inside out, and the outside isn't dictating who I am. It doesn't even dictate how I look or how I feel, or what I'm willing to do. It all comes down from the inside, you truly become authentic, and you can only become authentic inside out. That is it. And so that was really what started my my transformation. Right, the transition was about gender. But my transformation was completely about life, and life inside as well as life outside. And that's, that's where the power of all that came from.

Anthony Hartcher  48:13 
Wow, truly inspirational story, JJ and I really love how you concluded that with living from inside and allowing that to exude right outside as opposed to and that is authenticity. It is it's not living someone else's life or what's imposed by society or religious values or beliefs. It's truly allowing from within, to recuperate out, and I really love those words that you've shared there, JJ, how can the listeners best connect with you, I'm sure they're been absolutely in awe with what you've had to share today. I have been, you know, drawn emotions into me. And it's truly inspirational, hearing your story. So there's no doubt the listeners would love to be able to connect with you. So how can they best connect with you?

JJ Ferrari  48:59 
If they want to connect with me on social media, you know, I put up a lot of posts where I post because I write things to myself that I need to remember. And so you actually get a lot of this kind of emotion and positivity out of me. If you join me on Instagram. It's JJ Ferrari 48. Or you know what you can join me if you want to hear more about what I do in business was sales and marketing and growing businesses. You can join me on LinkedIn. And that also is JJ Ferrari. And I would love to connect with you. And you know if they have any questions at all, send me your questions. Ask me your questions, because because after going through what I've gone through, I realize we've created such a curious culture, and people have questions, and we need to take responsibility for answering those questions. If you're going to tell your story then you have to take responsibility for answering any questions someone asked. And I think that that's fair. So I'm very, very open to answering any questions that you might have for me.

Anthony Hartcher  50:04 
Fantastic. And to the listeners, I'll include those links in the show notes to Jay Jay's, and LinkedIn JJ's website as well. So you can check out all the great programs. She's running workshops, truly inspirational speaker, lead business manager, owner and truly inspiration to the world in terms of how to live authentically and really appreciate your time today, JJ, and sharing all your insight and wisdom with the listeners.

JJ Ferrari  50:32 
Oh, thank you so much for having me. It was such a pleasure. It's like I told you I was really connected to your energy. And so I'm really glad we connected. Let's stay connected, please.

Anthony Hartcher  50:42 
Absolutely, absolutely real job show. I'll have you back on because there's so much more to tap into your knowledge base that I'm sure the listeners would love to hear a part two of what we've discussed today. And to the listeners. Thank you for tuning in to another insightful episode on me and my health up. If there's anyone out there that you think could benefit from JJ's words today please share it with them, please send it out to them they could really you know, get some great insight and really help them in 2023 so please share the episode like the episode and stay tuned for more insightful episodes. Thank you.

Anthony Hartcher  51:31 
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